Returning to work?????

[saintvicsta]

Wonderful DS now pushing on for 4 months old and it's time to, dare I say it, let life go on and think about going back to work. Following terrible time after his birth and again 6 weeks later at his check ups where his prognosis was awful, I was convinced I wouldn't be able to. But since then, he has come on leaps and bounds. He has regained his stepping instinct, can hold his head up well, is trying deperately to sit himself up, can weight bear and is currently trying to suck eeyores bum on his play gym (a big step, had no interest in toys till now) - no proud mum emoticon so will have to do. He still has lots of problems ahead of him, I know, but I have found a very supportive nursery who are willing to do everything they can to help him. I'd love to go back to work (have to really, financially) and I also want some sort of normality to return for me and DS. Any other Mums of special babies want to share their experiences with me, any problems with nursery that may crop up or any tips to prepare me for the big emotional wrench it will be? Not planning to return till Feb when DS will be 8 months old. Anything you can share will be gratefully received. Ta xx

I went back to work when my daughter was 9 months.

It was hard, she was a very poor feeder and the nursery staff were young and no experience of SN. I work in a hospital and this was the nhs nursery! I'd arranged the nursery when pregnant. We changed to a fantastic nursery who were very supportive and things improved as she got older.

I think the choice of nursery is the most important thing. All babies of this age get loads of colds when they start and so be prepared for this. The nursery we used was a small one with all the kids together and she got a lot from seeing the routine of the older ones.

And everyone finds it hard when they first start leaving their baby. It was just as bad leaving her sister!

Aw vicsta he sounds like he's doing grand!

I went back when dd was 9 months. I had to financially (tho this was before i knew about tax credits / dla / carers allowance. That can make a big difference)

I dreaded going back and didn't really want to. Once there, I actually really liked it. Like you've mentioned, it was nice to have some sort of normality / link with my old familiar life. Everything after dd's birth was pretty intense and scary so it was quite relaxing to have other stuff to think about / talk about. Bit of respite for me!

My dd has been quite poorly and in and out of hospital so I've needed to take loads and loads of time off work. Obv there are legal measures in place for employers but I would advise keeping your boss aware and informed of yr situation so they are understanding and supportive (er don't wish to panic you - but appts and so on do eat into yr work days nonetheless)

On the childcare front, dd went to sessions at KIDS (national charity. Think they cover lots of areas) and my dh and mom had her at times also. This worked brilliantly for all of us. Only advice re nurseries is to sound them out on sn - do they have any other children there with any sn? Get a feel for their attitudes / experience. Visit loads. Does yr LEA offer any specialist support workers / key workers etc that can accompany pre school children with sn to nurseries for some of the time? Obv this is a bit tricky at mo cos he's only a bab and you don't really know what his needs are / will be. Oh think our cdc were doing some outreach work and sending physios / OTs into nursery settings. Maybe that's something you could look into (don't get yr hopes up too much on this one though!)

I'm going back to work on mon after year on maternity leave with ds. Again I'm dreading it. Seems like I never had a life involving work right now!

Thank you. Nursery I've found has no SN kids at mo but has had previously and have stated that they would (with my permission) invite specialists in if they felt out of their depth. They did so previously with an epileptic child with great success. They also have experiences of OT and SALT visits for other children and have bought equipment for a previous CP child. I got the feeling that they welcomed not just us, but the chance to learn more which is probably what impressed me the most. They have also offered us (free) settling in sessions, starting now if I like, as many as I like so that they can get to know him and see his condition change as the months pass. I'm still waiting to see the SN health visitor with regards to support workers but the later the better for that really, as he has no real special needs at the mo. The nursery also said they would help me with that too! Was really pleasantly surprised as one or two I had approached were disinterested to thepoint of rudeness really - seemed to be too much hassle for them. Thankfully, I have a good relationship with my employer who is VERY understanding.

Anyone Else?

Hi Vicsta, the nursery sounds great. There aren't any nurseries near me so we had to use a childminder. It took a while to find the right person but she was Fantastic & made working so much easier.
Also an employer that is flexible, this made it easier to swap my days off around ds2's appointments.
Check out your right to flexible working & also make sure that you inform your employer that you have a disabled child, legally it is required to ensure they offer flexible working beyond pre school age.