Special needs child in mainstream nursery or specialist nursery?

[HayleyK]

I'm hoping my little boy (2 years old) will go to nursery in January, but he has developmental delays in motor skills and speech from low muscle tone and, I'm now told, verbal/oral dyspraxia - which means that he'll need special help. I think we would like to stick with mainstream nursery as we hope he'll pick up speech from the other children, but would love to hear people's thoughts and experiences on this.

We have a girl helping him who has worked as a learning support assistant, who has suggested that she could accompany him to the nursery. The nursery we currently have him down for is a private nursery, but we're really open minded on changing to another nursery if more able to help him, either private or not.

Does anyone have any experiences sending someone with their child to nursery? Are the nurseries likely to really resist this?
Is this a normal thing to do for a child with special needs? Does anyone have any good experiences in doing this in any nurseries or schools in North West or Central London?

Our dd1 who has down syndrome spent a year in a nursery when I went back to work full time. SHe had just turned one when she started and she stayed until she was almost 2. They were fabulous. They were really great with her and her key workers were excellent. i don't know who cried more when we left - me or them - that is all the staff at the nursery knew her and she was very popular.

DS, who's autistic, went to a mainstream nursery with 1:1 support funded by county. It was great - but they were very experienced with SN and very very positive about DS2 - they actively enjoyed DS2 being there and celebrated every tiny success he had. It was a Montessori nursery btw.

I think the attitude and experience of the staff is all important. If he can have 1:1 that is great - at the time DS2 could have coped without, but he wouldn't have been able to do anything.

My son has 3 mornings in mainstream with 1:1 support and then 2 mornings in a SN nursery ( which is part of the school that he will attend when hes 5) THis works well and DS 1:1 is fantastic. His mainstream nursery are very geared up to children with additional needs and the two nurseries have great communication

J went to a private mainstream nursery. They were AMAZING with him and helped so much with getting the statement, but he found it so stressful. Just used to throw stuff everywhere and run off. Never joined in. This was all pre-dx; we all thought he was just very strong-willed. Now with the autism dx, it makes sense that he found conforming so hard.

I guess a SN nursery would have been better in many ways but because he goes to mainstream school, it was a good preparation for that. So I would say SN nursery if thinking of SN school, but mainstream if thinking of mainstream, cos it's more realistic preparation.

But the important thing, mainstrean or SN, or private or Montessori, is how well the staff are equipped to deal with him and how much enthusiasm they'll have for the task. I think visiting and getting a 'feel' is the most important thing.

dd2 went to mainstream nursery with additional support funded by LEA. Just after 2, she also got a place at the local special school 'opportunity group' which was children with pd. that was one morning a week, so she had 1 session at special, and 4 at ms for a year. she's been back in ms nursery for 2 years and starts ms school in (ulp) 2 weeks. i'm a huge fan of ms if the child can cope, with some additional support. it gives them a huge boost to be with ms peers and can really help in terms of motivation towards mobility and communication, which you may not get in an sn environment. it's not right for all children, and spec is definitely the right place for some, but for us it has worked out really well. dd2 has only just been statemented btw - all else 1-1 etc was done on SA+. it varies from LEA to LEA.

not sure exactly what delays ds has - dd2 was not walking when she started and used a spec chair and standing frame, later progressing with walker etc. had no speech and all nursery staff learnt makaton. i personally think 2 is too early to be making long term ms/ spec ed decisions, as so much can change development wise in the early years period. at 2, we had no idea what dd2 would be like at 5, and she has amazed everyone.

ds2 went to ms nursery, but the nursery were supported by the sn school outreach teacher who advised them on teaching & equipment etc.
His physio & SALT also went in to the nursery & spent time with the nursery SENCO.
ds2 didn't have (or need) full time 1 to1 when at nursery BUT it was a small nursery (8 children & 3 staff).
His physio first put us in touch with the sn school outreach team & they were & still are a great source of support & advice.

Does the nursery that you have in mind have a SENCO, if so do they seem enthusiastic about having your son there, are they keen to work with you?

My ds2 has Global Delay, CP & asd

Hi, my DD1 is at mainstream pre-school. She has dev. delays in fine and gross motors skills and speech. We had a 1:1 worker for 2 out of 4 sessions before the hols and DD1 loved her. She really kick-started her signing.

It is only a small setting with two members of staff and I feel this has helped as they become part of the "family", much like the portage worker. DD1 has a close bond to them all.

I think DD1 could have been accepted at a SN nursery but we feel her needs are met at pre-school and she has gained so much from the other children. After all these kids will be around in the village as DD1 grows up. We do feel that she would really struggle at MS scholl next year so will be requesting a place at special school.

Hi, DD is 2 and at fantastic mainstream (private)nursery in Hackney (too far away for you, I assume) with a 1:1 keyworker, initially funded by the nursery themselves before they got some money from the LEA. She couldn't have gone to the nursery without the 1:1, as the nursery takes babies from 18 months plus, and DD is functioning at around 12 months for cognitive ability and communication. We'll probably switch to a nursery school elsewhere when she is 3 simply because they have more expertise in speech/communication delay and part of me doesn't like DD being the only child with delays--at the nursery school they have about 20 kids and 9 places are reserved for children with SN.

What I meant to add was that before I chose the nursery DD's at I visited a fair few to see what their attitude was about having a child with SN. I also got advice from DD's portage worker (I don't know if you have one of those but they tend to know all the nurseries in the area) but also the SEN dept of the LEA were helpful when I rang to ask whether it was a good idea to get a statement for DD so funding would be in place wherever she went to school in future(they said 2 was fine).

Dd2 has been reffered to a special nursey for 3 mornings a week (waiting to hear if she has a place) we have also been advised to put her in a mainstreem nursery for 2 mornings, she has ASD.

I can't tell you how amazing all of your advice has been and how much I appreciate your help and love this website! I hadn't thought about combining a sn with mainstream, but that seems a great option. Am starting the process of vising some of the ones in the area to see how we get on. I'm currently thinking that at this stage as our little boy is so young, the therapies are really important, so going somewhere with intensive speech therapy and other program, is probably going to be best bet as the children don't really chat to each other that much at this age. Thanks again so much to everyone for taking the time to reply.

Thanks again everyone - our boy now in sn (2 afternoons) and mainstream (3 mornings) and 1 to 1 therapy (1 morning) - think it's a great program and gives him best of everything!

glad to hear you have it sorted.
and now you're in the education system you can tailor as you go along - what might be 'right' this year may need tweaking next etc. have they started statement or are they waiting to see how he progresses?

am waiting to see paediatrician tomorrow and I will get advice on whether we should go for statement. Will the NHS paediatricians always make you feel like you're really over reacting if you go for a statement, or are they a good way of determining if you should be going down that route (i.e are they meant to try to put you off?!)