Hey Nat1H,
Having same problem now developing with our 7 year old over the last 8 months. From perfectly normal to up to almost daily soiling of pants and occasionally wetting as well. We have been extremely conciliatory about it with him but are beginning to get a bit desperate. Sometimes he stinks because of the amount of time he has been 'holding in' or because he has a 'clod' in his underwear. Even if it is pointed out to him that his friends at school will be able to smell him or if he is invited to smell the back of his trousers/bottom of jumper as evidence of the validity of the arguement...nothing seems to convince him.
Last night, again without prior warning, he just disappeared for a few minutes and when he returned he was obviously in the process of trying to stash his soiled underwear in the wash bin. When I went up stairs I found his urine-soaked trousers on the bedroom floor.
After a very, very long chat with him ? which was like trying to pull teeth in terms of getting information ? he finally just caved in and came out with it all. What I mean here is that he literally opened up and started describing everything; exactly what he was doing (complete with a little demo just so that it was absolutely clear). Prior to this, it has been virtually impossible to get any info out of him as to what was happening.
Basically, he has developed a sort habit where he squeezes/clenches his buttocks tightly together ? either to hold poo in when standing or to stop it slipping out when on the toilet ...causing the poo to get squeezed out in bits. He isn't doing this to put off going to the toilet because he doesn't like the toilet or doing a poo; he's doing it as a habit from which he derives some enjoyment.
Of course, this means he messes up his normal stool rhthym completely, leaving his backside in a mess (sometimes with bits of poo on the seat etc). Most importantly, I think/suspect it leaves stuff in his back passage which dries out a bit and then later, during the day when he has the beginnings of another movement, this stuff comes out and sticks to his backside/underwear when he does his clenching routine. Separately to this, he also holds in his stool and pushes it down and back again in his rectum during the day ? because he 'likes the feeling'. Sometime he misjudges and there is an escape...
After he had told me all this he was very much concerned to know that I was not angry with him and wanted cuddles/reassurance, etc.
All this info ties in with the evidence. In particular, poo on his underwear and in the toilet is unbelievably pungent ? consistent with what you might expect with faecal material that had not ejected from the body when it should have been.
I also wondered if the recent wetting was bladder spasms brought on by all this deliberate clenching and tension etc over prolonged periods of time. Basically, he is creating havoc with the natural rhthym of that area...but he doesn't get it because he's 7.
I hope this helps in some way or is a line of enquiry that might be worth going along.
From our perspective the question now is, what to do about it. We've tried the charts and the marble reward jar and the removal of privileges etc., but so far we haven't hit on something that will work. As he is a happy, popular and well-adjusted boy in every other way I think we just need to work out how to prerform a reset/reboot in that area of his mind.
Any suggestions gratefully received.