Struggling with coming to terms with just how autistic DS3 is...and tired of putting a brave face and a positive spin on it all the time

[SixSpotBurnet]

Yes, DS3 (just turned 4, ASD) has made progress - definitely.

But a nasty virus at the end of last term has really knocked him back - a lot - and we are really having to face up to just how autistic he is.

He has virtually no communicative speech or language. He was using PECS a bit but that seems to have gone into reverse since the virus. He was eating a reasonable amount of food, including some (heavily disguised) green vegetables and meat - now we're back to sodding marmite ricecakes. He has finally (as of last week) given up drinking milk from a bottle, but is now drinking very little indeed, of anything.

He does use the potty for wees but still has lots of accidents and we are as far away as ever from getting him to sit on the potty or toilet.

He has started to get terribly upset about things like the washing machine, which never used to bother him, and screams ear-piercingly if he can hear them, and even more ear-piercingly when they stop.

He picks at his face constantly and it is coveroed in large bloody welts that never get the chance to heal.

Despite lots of brushing, swinging etc as recommended by OT, he is getting worse, not better, about things like having his nails cut.

I know there was a risk that he would be somewhere on the spectrum but I never, I'm afraid, in my wildest nightmares thought he would be this autistic. It all just seems like such a mountain to climb and I'm not sure I'm equal to it.

Sorry to whinge.

Wanted to give you some support and to say I have been there my son was progressing quite normally until he was 2 1/2 then things started to go backwards, for the next 2 years we had hospital appointments and meetings with professionals every other week, then it just stopped and I felt like we were alone. It hit me then that my son has autism and I don't know what to do.
When he got to school things got a bit better, mainly because for 6 hours a day he wasn't at home, don't feel guilty about being happy he is out of your hair, he is getting valuable help and you are recharging batteries for the sleepless nights and restless weekends to come.
I think with autism it takes a while to sink in and when you see normal kids his age progressing far and above his standard you become demoralised and your 9 yr old starts to seem like a large 3 year old.
Things will get better tho after almost 7 years of not talking our boy has picked up some basic sign language and has extremely bad behaviour is settling, just in time as baby is due next month.
As long as you have someone you can talk to do it a shoulder to cry on is the best thing in the world, after chocolate cake that is.