My 5 year old ds hurting himself.

[mummy2aaron]

For the past few months my ds has been hurting himslef when he percieves himself to be naughty. I know at school they have played down the autistic aspect of his behaviour in order for him to 'fit in' and so other children see him as naughty. I think thi is where it stems from - i know they don't hurt him but just now for example dd is watching handy manny on tv while i get breakfast ready and ds wants his thomas video on, i told him after handy manny and he mithered - i kept saying no and he pushed his sister. Usually at this stage its a time out or a go to your room and think about what you did (he is coming on brilliantly) but he went to his room wailing i don't love him and banging his head with his fists. He has come down with scratches around his eyes. He is very clingy too wanting to sleep with me - i am exhausted as he doesn't sleep after 4am.

Any idea how to stop him hurting himself - does anyone have experience of this.

It's very common for children with autism to show self-injurous behaviour (rather than self harm which is something different). DS1 bites his hands (between the thumb and first finger - a very common spot for autistic kids), thumps his chin, thumps his forehead, bites his knees, headbangs. He does this daily and I think it started around 5 (headbanging earlier). He's already had several bouts this morning.

Some of it is frustration, he did it this morning because I didn't understand what it he wanted, some of it when he's cross and sometimes he just does it (sits in the bath biting his knees for example).

Davros went to a talk on it, but it's pretty difficult to stop I think. I just tell him 'hands/knees' down when he does it.

ok thanks jimjams tbh i am encouraged by the fact it is something that can happen age 5. he is still very clingy to his daisy cow - she has to go everywhere - after a year of not bothering so i am encouraging this as he finds some comfort from it. i know things are worse because of hte holidays and lack of routine, and the i don;t love him thing is from his 9 year old brother who feels ds2 gets more attention and says that tp me frequently - age 9 is hell. usually i can reason with ds2 he has come on so well but the shutters seem down at the moment.

aww we dont get guests fio i don't encourage it lol even family expect to get waited on

oh ha ha fio- ds1 has 'events' as well. Like people sitting in their cars outside and NOT GETTING OUT (not allowed). He headbutts glass for that

He used to try and make people leave (he thought he would get tea if they left). So I used to ask them to sit there (wasn't getting into that) and he'd be screaming and biting and repeatedly bringing them their bag.

My ds punches at his head when he gets really angry too, but fortunately he doesn't do it very hard. ATM I'm just ignoring it, I worry that if I make a big issue out of it that it'll become more of a regular thing.

he is very violent anyhow - always hitting out and shouting and throwing things, he has given himself a black eye today

I go through spells of worrying about how much worse DS's self-injuring will get as he gets bigger and stronger. He's 7 now. It did become less frequent once the gf/cf diet thingy kicked in.

I think the problem with my boy is that when smthg upsets him, he doesn't feel he can cry unless he has a physical hurt, so he bites himself, bangs his head, or throws himself against the wall or floor. Only then can he have the release of tears.

Mmmm. Well, that's my theory. Now what the hell do I do to solve the problem?? Wish I knew. Nothing has worked so far...

good point about the diet koda. If ds1 starts hitting his head on the tarmac he's eaten something.

Ds2 (5) still does this. When he gets angry or annoyed with himself he starts punching himself in the face. The Paed suggested giving him something else to take his anger out on and let us have one of those chew tube thingies to bite on. It didn't work for ds2 but might be worth a try if you have a child who likes to bite on things.

DS3 picks at his face. He has four massive raw bloody patches at the moment. As soon as one of them scabs over he picks it again. He does it when he's upset but also just randomly for no particular reason.

We attracted lots of stares on holiday last week - screaming DS3 with blood running down his face - it really only is a matter of time before someone calls Social Services.

usually it's head banging and scratching although he does throw himself down the stairs. i will mention it to the paed when we have our yearly appointment in november unfortunately she won;t see us at any other time because she think he is coming along beautifully.