Where are all the parents??

[2shoes]

so another end of term celebration. again the faithfull few are ther.
where are the others?
they never seem to turn up.
for example a couple of dc's spend nearly all their time at school. they have familys but you wouldn't know it.
have we gone back in time. do people now just dump their sn dc's in "institutions" and run?
surely they could spare the time.
even a busy businessman dad managed it.

Why can't they cope with bright children? Just curious.

I see what you mean - your dd has a mainstream mind on a SN body, whereas my ds has a SN mind on a mainstream body (in that he is extremely able physically)!!!!! I expect your dd will benefit from seeing and hearing mainstream kids around her too.

dd is stretched in her sn school. she would have been lost in ms. she is bright but learning is a lot harder when you can't talk and use your hands. have to say gcse's are not my top priority.

Riven, you will never know

But could the same thing happen again? Could you have a section perhaps? (A friend has a ds with very severe cp and her ds2 (NT) was born by cs and dc3 will be too). Have you had any professional advice about this?

Hope you get some helpful advice - enough at least, to help the decision-making process.

good luck with that riven. I found it helped to talk to someone about it. now I know it wasn't anything I did wrong I can put the birth behind me, totally noraml but not breathing when born.
dd is lucky as she has talkers at her school and at long last she is in a very lively class.

(if you ever want to talk about the birth stuff I am here. well on TTR as I have to be careful; waht I say on the www)

I have felt very guilty this term - missed dd1's sports day and dd2's 'Fun Day' at end of term - but with the school holidays coming up, and lots of appointments etc for both dds, I just couldn't take any more days off from work... I did better last year

"School is school and home is home and if the two mix there's fireworks. It's simply not allowed in the child's world. "

I can identify with that one. It's also hard to take DS2 to these things. The kids were both ill for our washed out summer fete and all the preparations, so that one's moot, but I took DS2 to the Christmas nativity and watched DS1 actually join in the songs and stand with his class, alternating between jingling his bells, eating an apple and shaking his apple, but it was hell for DS2 who just wanted to get away and was in danger of blowing our cover.

I think if the school has kids with SLD's/GDD etc as well as ASD's then there can be some very good communicative models around.

DS1's current class is very talkative and social interaction wise when I've been in feels very 'normal'. Perhaps a bit bouncier/livelier than mainstream classes with more adult-child interaction but free flowing and a similar feel.

I agree jimjams. My ds has a fair bit of speech now if he applies it, some of the more verbal children in his special school are a good influence - he is moving class in September and will be with a couple of good talkers so I'm hoping it will rub off on him. Ds has been in mainstream once and had a bad experience so I would be quite reluctant to move him back.

I don't think he quite achieves his academic potential but then they have done so much for him in terms of giving him independence and broadening his diet I think it's worth it. Plus he got so miserable at mainstream I think the main thing his special school offers is kindness and support - but then not all mainstream schools are the same. I can see your point though Riven - if your dd needs academic stimulation then mainstream would be better. I don't worry too much though as I can always supplement his academic stuff at home wheras they have more access to specialists/equipment/strategies to deal with the other stuff at his school.

I hope she does find you some 'urgent counselling' - keep on to her. Try not to dwell on 'maybes', it doesn't sound like you are in the right frame of mind to be looking into what happened. Did you mention the migraine tablet to the doctor? She might be able to tell you if you have a legitimate reason to think it had anything to do with anything. Sometimes when you're down it's too easy to imagine any number of things you did/didn't do - usually completely unfounded. I think you should ring the doctor again.

Seuess I recognise what you're saying. I also find it much easier to 'top up' on academic stuff at home - which ds1 enjoys. Far easier than trying to teach all the independence stuff his school has taught him. They sorted out his eating too!

riven I can't see that one drug taken at 12 weeks would have stopped her taking a breath when born.

Do make sure that urgent counselling is given. You sound as if you're at crisis point (sounds naff on a website) - you are blaming yourself unfairly.