Strange social & interaction probs. What to do???

[blueteddy]

I have a 5yr old ds, who started school in September.
He has been having trouble since nursery days with his social & interaction skills.
He finds it hard to mix (other than with very close friends), has trouble settling to/choosing activities in class & more concerning, he turns his back to the teacher during carpet time & in assembly!
When we went to see the school christmas play, he turned his back to us every time they had to stand up & sing. When I asked him why, he said "I thought you would laugh at me."
He is also a very lathargic child, who does everything at a very slow pace & has been reported to sometimes just lay on the floor in class when he does not know what to do!
I have told him again & again about this, but he will just answer "I was bored!"
I have been blaming myself as a parent, again & again & wondering what I have done to make him like this.
If someone says they are not his friend at school, he gets upset at home about it, but will not tell a teacher at school.
He is however, very bright.
He can count to 100, recognises numbers beyond 20, is starting to build words & takes in any facts that you throw at him!
I suffered from PND after ds2 & feel that this has contributed to the anxieties that he suffers with.
I just want him to be like the other children & am getting myself in a state about it.
Can anyone help?

Blue teddy - not sure. She has a language disoder and def. social/communication probs. She is very sociable and popular (she has 3 boyfriends ) but finds it hard to do it "appropriately".
I think she has SPD which is a very mild asd but again no one will commit to a firm dx. She is a language unit and has come on in heaps and bounds so at the moment I am just so happy that she has made good progress

bluted- AS is there from birth but as tiggy says my experience is that the 'difficult' side of it only really starts to show as they get to 4-6.....in my opinion its because up till then YOU as the parent have a big part of their life so YOU comunicate/interperate/explain things for/to them -remind them to say thankyou/please/hello/goodbye.....etc.....then if they are playing with a friend you develop an uncanny '6th sense' ....so when they are struggling to play in some way - you are there to guide the play.

i felt in the pre-school years that it was as if 'there was an invisible bubble around my sons' so that if we went to a party etc that as long as noone 'intruded into THEIR space' that there was calm etc.

T was always very clumsy - so accidently bumped into things and people- often broke their toys - never said sorry...so i soon learnt to guide him throu the
"i'm sorry i hurt you. it was an accident. i didn't mean to do it' etc....and since realised that millios of ASD parents HAVE to do this and that there is an 'OFFICIAL TERM' for this method....SOCIAL STORIES

Other social blunders which i have used the same method for are Giving and recieving presents, replying to friends/family when they speak-without going on about computers/playstations etc (typically for me i will say HELLO to my sons and they will not say hello back but...I've caught 23 pokemon today on my gameboy....i then say hello agin...and they state anopther fact....and it goes on like that......

He has just amazed me!
He called me from his bath to say he wanted to get out & I said to him "You know what to do"
Meaning pull out the plug & tidy away the toys, as I was getting ds2's milk ready.
He has just entered the lounge with his pj's on, with no prompting what so ever!!!!
I am so pleased with him!
Lets hope he keeps it up!

moments like that make me go all 'goose bumpy'!

I'm glad you told us....that's one of my favourite bits on MN....being able to share the good and the bad!

blueteddy, that's fantastic!! Was that a first?

my ds (nearly six now) would not be able to do that - he can manage a couple of steps into the sequence, maybe the plug, out & into a towel - but the "next chapter" so to speak, into pjs and, specially, to come and find you to show he'd done it - just doesn't occur to him. I am so pleased for you and your ds.

Yes it was a first!
Normally he will pull out the plug & tidy the toys away(although he is reluctant to do the tidying!), then he will wait 4 me to come up, as he likes me to snuggle him in the towel!
I then get him to put on his pj's.
For him to just appear like that, with no prompting from me was so nice!
It was even done quickly (most unlike him!) & the pj's were the right way round!!!!
Bless him, he is a little under the weather at the moment, as well. He has this flu type thing.
He got to play on dh's game cube as a treat!