Ds1 hd CAAMHS assessment today,I just looked up ADHD online and he is ticking so many of the boxes and it's making me miserable.

[colditz]

I got his school report on Monday - it was glowing, although it was pointed out that his lack of concentration means he wanders off, won't sit down or simply isn't listening.

He has been placed in a mixed year 1/ year 2 class next year (he will be year 1) and this is worrying me anyway. His teacher spoke to me about this and insisted his academic needs are such that he needs extending a little. But to be honest, I think he may have been just plonked in with a strict teacher - which I don't necessarily have a problem with, but I do have a problem with my 5.5 year old being in a class with nearly 7 year olds, given that his behavior is so immature it is under assessment.

At the end of the assessment the ladies talked about ADHD a lot. I looked it up a minute ago and he does tick all the boxes. But so do a LOT of five year olds! I don't know the difference between a five year old's impulsivness and restlessness and a five year old with ADHD.

Got summer holidays starting in 2 days

I want to cry.

I love my son but he drains every ounce of energy from me sometimes I hate myself for having to fight the impulse to scream "For fuck'[s sake sit down and shut up and stop fucking spilling drinks and breaking things, you act ike a frigging toddler!!"

I necver have and never will say it, but sometimes I think it.

I don't want the label but I am starting to think he needs the label. This isn't Italy, I wanted to go to Italy, but it's not Holland either. It's fucking Beirut sometimes.

oh love

Gosh, I think I probably have said all that (well, apart from fuck...but it was close, I'm sure)
My ds is dyspraxic and has Aspergers and it is very often bloody frustrating! The mood swings, the clumsiness, the ignoring everything I say, the sheer bloody unreasonableness! However, all chidren, even those with SN of any kind, or just cussed natures (!) grow up, develop, mature and change, and I've seen amazingly lovely eight year olds who were all over the place at five and six.

Am trying to arranging an Ed Psych assessment for ds - not sure what it will show. He has motor difficulties, hyperflexibility and sequencing issues but suspect there may be more to it ...

the diagnostic appointments, DX/or lack thereof can be rather grim, so many sympathies. If you get a chance to contact them again, ask them why they feel his impulsiveness etc would be beyond the norm for a 5 year old. Also have a chat with senco or teacher as well if you feel comfortable with them.

In terms of the mixed class - DS started in a mixed class (foundation/Y1) in January, which I was a bit iffy about because of his language problems - but it's been wonderful for him - I think partly because the older children are so "sorted" with their speech, that they have the mindspace and patience to help DS out - so I imagine the same would apply in a different way to your DS - that the older kids would be a good influence.

btw - I tend to think of it as "la la land" or "no man's land"

Oh Colditz You have my sympathy. I completely understand about loving your child but feeling exhausted and frustrated by their behaviour Ds drives me to distraction daily.

A label is scary but it can also help get your child the help and support he needs. My ds was lucky that he has a statement that gives him fulltime support even though he still doesn't have a dx but others really struggle to get schools/lea to support their child.

I put off pushing for a dx for ds as he was getting the support he needed anyway but over the last year he has become aware of the fact that he is different to his peers and that his behaviour causes problems for him. He has been very sad and confused about this so we are now pushing for a formal dx to help him understand that he's not just 'bad' or 'stupid' (his words not mine) and that its ok to be like he is and he isn't the only one.

I've just had to fill in another Conners rating today and its tough looking at the negatives in your child when you spend most of the time trting to focus on the postives. Just try to keep in mind that whatever they decide re dx he will still be the same little boy and no dx will change that.