New class in September - worried by a new boy. Please don't attack me.

[kaz33]

I have just found out that in my son's new class (yr 3) there will be two boys with Aspergers. One I was expecting but the other one has been kicked out of private school because of aggresive behavioural problems and has a 30 hour statement.

I am all for inclusion but a bit taken aback, what should we expect?

Don't panic! The one with 30 hours support will have someone there with him full-time, so that's good. Don't expect anything because Aspergers covers such a wide spectrum.

If the boys receive the right support from school there needn't be any problems, does your school have a good record with SN children? Like wotulookinat said Aspergers covers a wide spectrum. Don't be scared by the 'aggresive behavioural problems' - my ds was kicked out of his last school for the same reason but once he moved to a more understanding school these problems dissappeared.

i wouldnt be worried knowing that he has full support

you dont have to have anything wrong with you to be aggressive or there would be no school bullys at all
as would all have support

i really wouldnt worry you'll probably find it'll be some other child with behavioral problems not the ones your expecting it from

if they have understanding and support should be no reason for them to become so frustrated that they have to act out

That's a good point, it's the unhappy NT ones with no support you will hear about and they are in the majority.

How did you find out?

My ds1 has Aspergers

he is difficult to manage in various ways, but he's not the stereotypical violent uncontrollable boy, there are several children in the class with these tendencies but none of them are statemented or diagnosed with SN. They're not just SN or NT, they're people and they're all different.

However my son is frequently excluded (more by parents than children) because people make dim assumptions about what to expect from a child like him. Which is sad really.

as others have said, a good school should be able to defuse problems before a kid lashes out. I'm a bit concerned that you know so much about this boy in case somebody on the school staff has been breaching confidentiality big style. The "aggressive" behaviour could well be related to sensory overwhelm - so something that a school being sensitive to his needs could make a dramatic difference to.

I don't know through the school but through a friend who knows this little boy and was gossiping as she was worried that her daughter would be in his class. Comments like "he left his last school because he put a pencil in the headmistresses eye" probably have added to my angst

The school has a very good record with children with special needs of all sorts, one of the reasons that this family choose it despite it being way out of catchement.

I am very aware of the attitude of parents, my son has had a very difficult three years because he has had some issues/aggressive tendencies of his own. This class as well as the two boys with Aspergers also has a number of other boys with some behavioural problems and I am worried how it will affect my son's behaviour. IE: if someone starts chucking chairs my son will no doubt start to copy it. (He is probably border line Aspergers himself )

Anywell just wanted to offload because obviously don't want to spread rumours of my own.

No the stories are accurate, my friend knows the family very well. This school is last chance saloon in the mainstream system I think.

And this kid I believe will be using the after school provision as well, which my son will also will be using.

Aaaaaaaagh - think I need to shut up and wait and see what September brings. I think the first couple of months I will be volunteering in class to see how this all pans out.

Any chance you could encourage your son to make friends with them?