Am I alone in feeling rather useless on here sometimes

[2shoes]

this isn't a poor old me thread.
I have felt a bit bad over the last few days that I don't seem to be able to help/advise/support any one on her.
I check threads but most are out of my field.
if you do find this, what do you do? do you post even if it is just a hug. or maybe like in on case i want to suggest another site.
just curious.

Yes, I know what you mean. Sometimes, especially if not many others have responded, I will plough in regardless, on the basis at least they will know someone has read and cares enough to respond. Does depend what mood you are in though- as I know if I am in a low self-esteem mood, I would only want to post if I had proper info/experience I could share. I think that although the posters on this board have kids with varying problems and varying levels of problems, we virtually all have some common ground, in terms of understanding the stress of waiting lists and appointments, and a general feeling that there's a lot that we can't take for granted anymore.

I think it's absolutely fine to suggest another site btw, if you think people will get more of a knowledgable response.

I'm hoping you meant you'ld "like" rather than "lie" !

Harrrruuummmppph, I just tried posting a response and it got EATEN! Which kind of proves my point that yes, I do often feel useless around here!

My area of expertise is tiny (DS!!) and I rarely come across a post that I can answer or someone else hasn't already done so more than adequately. And, whenever I post a question, hardly anyone answers.

My day to be useful will come I'm sure - probably when DS leaves home and my brain grows back.

lie?? i did put like......didn't I

who ate it?

No, the typo was in TClanger's post!

pmsl

Well the 2Tc's responded to my recent thread about EP reports and i was hugely grateful. I am a big lurker but not a big poster and I knew the minute that the posters posted that they were people who had children with some similiar issues to mine. I think people are grateful for any response and appreciate input from people that may have different problems but who are going through periods of uncertainty and worry and there is so much comfort derived from hearing about people who have come through that ( I know its not always a happy ending but knowing that acceptance does seem to come to most is a big help)

I also think that its great if other sites are recommended.

I wish I had a bundle of brilliant advice but alas.............

I am the same. I look, but where I only have very limited experience, I am generally useless.

I feel bad for using you lot for support, but not being able to give it back

Me too. It does depend on personal mood too, how much workload I've got on, whether I feel I can do a decent rushed reply. Also, often I feel that someone more knowledgeable will come along soon and help out.

Mind you, there have been times when I've posted a great long response and it's not been acknowledged, so sometimes if I've got a lot on I'll weigh up whether it's worth my effort. That's not very community spirited of me, I admit, but it does make a difference for me, at times.

I am a bit shy in real life and I often feel shy on mumsnet too, not when i feel that I can give useful advice but when sympathy is needed, i feel that i never know what to say and hold back. Is it any wonder that social communication is not my sons' strong point either!

Streakybacon, I'll acknowledge your post and say that I feel exactly the same. It can feel a bit like a waste of time if your carefully thought out response doesn't get a reply. For me the one probelm with MN is that you can't reply to people's comments individually and you're not notified if people respond to your posts, unlike other sites I know and love.

MN is fantastic in it's way and the people who hang out here are incredibly knowledgable, but for me - I don't find it very user-friendly.

CaptainP - I found your response about schools very useful. It's easy to get paranoid if no one responds to you but often it is just the luck of the draw as to how often a thread stays at the top of the pile for new people to see it.

CS, thank you! Honestly, if something that's taken a bit of thought to write out helps just one person then it's completely worth the effort. I suppose the way to look at it is that a lot of people are like me and usually just lurk. I find a lot of stuff incredibly useful even if I don't often comment to say so!

I lurked for months when we were going through the realisation/diagnosis phase but I never posted anything partly because I already knew that the replies would be 'hmm sounds a bit like autism, I'd get it checked if I were you' But I found the general level of knowledge and information to be very high so I continued to look at the discussion threads. The ratio of lurkers to posters is always high in most online discussions. It can get addictive though esp. if you don't know anyone in real life with an SN child.