At Breaking Point

[RaspberryRuffle87]

Hi, I'm coming on here to ask if any parents of SEN children have faced a similar problem and to ask for your advice in how you dealt with it. My child is currently in year 6 and hopefully starting a special school in September. So basically I need to get them through the next 9 months. I am really struggling, as is my child.
My child lashes out easily, they are very reactive and as a result they are getting in trouble daily which then escalates their behavior. The EHCP states my child needs a one to one which school have said they can't provide. My child begs to stay off school and dreads going in because other children are mimicking their facial tics and sounds the child makes and as a result, they will react violently.
There is one child in particular that is causing an issue by constantly poking my child in the back, calling their name and pulling faces and then as a result being hit by my child which then gets my child in trouble and the other child thinks it's great fun to see. I will also add that my child also has a physical disability as well as autism and other neurological conditions, and is the size of a 5 year old, so when they are hit back, they come worse off and could affect their health condition for the worse. The main child's mother is there at drop off and pick up, staring at me and my child and giving us what I would call dirty looks. I have not said anything to her but I'm crying every evening over this out of sheer frustration. I understand no one wants their child hit, but this is all as a reaction to what this child is doing. There are other parents treating us like this, I feel so alone at the moment, emotionally fragile and I know they are all talking about me and my child because it's made obvious. Every day I dread school pick up because it's so hostile.
My child and I are drained and tired and I know soon I am going to say something I regret. I think if anyone has any kind advice or shared experience I would be interested in hearing it. Thanks for reading.

The EHCP states my child needs a one to one which school have said they can't provide.

Is 1:1 detailed, specified and quantified in F of the EHCP? Or is the wording vague and woolly? If the former, it isn’t optional. Remind the school the EHCP is a legal document and they must make their best endeavours to meet DS’s SEN. Alongside this, speak to the LA. Do this in writing. Ultimately, under 42 of the Children and Families Act 2014, it is the LA who is responsible for ensuring provision in F is provided. This duty is absolute and non-delegable. Lack of funding, resources &/or staffing are not lawful excuses. If that doesn’t work, you need a pre-action letter. If the wording is vague and woolly, it can’t be enforced and the wording needs improving. You can do that via the AR process. You should have a phase transfer review meeting coming up if you haven’t already had one this term.

My child begs to stay off school and dreads going in

Do you think DC is well enough to attend school?

other children are mimicking their facial tics and sounds the child makes
There is one child in particular that is causing an issue by constantly poking my child in the back, calling their name and pulling faces

What is the school doing about this?

Thanks for replying. No I don't think they are well enough mentally to be at school. I think school is making them ill. But I'm not sure about the legalities of keeping them off. I've discussed with the senco about not putting pressure on them to do the school work and letting them do something else instead but the head teacher needs to give permission. At the moment my child is gaining nothing academically from being at school. Regarding the bullying, I've made the school aware but it seems like nothing is being done because it continues. My child's reactions to this are extreme but they are unable to control it. Regarding the one to one, it was during a meeting with the case worker from the local authority it was mentioned my child needed a one to one but the senco said it was unlikely they would be able to provide that and she didn't want to give false promises. But things are getting consistently worse and school agree. The senco is great otherwise and very supportive with her ideas but it's actually putting things into action that is proving a problem.

If DC isn’t well enough to attend, they aren’t well enough to attend. You can report them unwell just like you would if DC was physically unwell.

If DC is unable (in the legal sense) to attend school, the LA would have a duty to provide alternative provision once it becomes clear 15 days would be missed. This doesn’t have to be consecutive or already missed. And provision should begin by the sixth day.

If the school isn’t dealing with the bullying despite you raising it, complain.

About the 1:1, you need to look at F of the EHCP. What was said in a meeting isn’t enough.

Thank you, that's very helpful.