Paed says it may be time to start thinking about special school for DS3

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Hi all,

Just had review meeting with paed this morning for DS3 (nearly 4, settled well at mainstream nursery, but still no communicative speech).

Rather to my surprise, she gently suggested that it might be time to start looking at special schools for him.

Obviously DH and I would always do whatever we think is best for him BUT I somehow hadn't envisaged having to get my head around this just yet.

I know that lots of you e.g. Jimjams have children who have thrived in special schools compared to mainstream.

Oh, he adores it, he skips down the street like Iggle Piggle arriving in the Night Garden. He is waiting in the hall with his shoes a good fifteen minutes before it is time to set off.

Fitting into the middle is good advice CaptainPlump- and we were in the same situation here - it made the school very easy to pick. All the other schools would have needed ds1 to sit still for most of the day- his school expects it sometimes but also works around his need to move and be active. It just stood out as ideal and 4 years down the line the only thing I would change about the school is to give them more staff so that they could have more flexibility. Sounds as if your little boy has the perfect place for him.

DS1 loved his mainstream nursery- they were happy times. The problem with school for children without conversational speech and language is that they need to learn differently. And school's about fitting in and behaving conventionally in a way that nursery isn't. Schools need to be able to take account of the differences in learning needs. A very few mainstream schools can do this, and it can work well if a school allows a shadow in as part of say an ABA program- where the shadow has a very clear idea of the learning goals of the child and can adapt the classroom work accordingly. Not many (state in particular) schools are keen on that though. They tend to want to employ their own LSA's etc and then it just becomes harder to get it working. Sphil sounds as if she has a good set up with her school although I think there are well established links between the ms and special school and her headteacher sounds really very switched on.

As children become more aware they can develop challenging behaviours quickly - and these can be really helped to be managed in a setting where people respond appropriately. That was one of our main reasons for getting ds1 out of mainstream quickly. He started with no challenging behaviours at all, but developed a repertoire very quickly - due in the main to inappropriate responses from the mainstream staff (that's not my view- that's the view of a professional who alerted us - who had worked with him at home, school and nursery for about 2 years so knew him very well).

My 3 year old ds is about to start at a special school in September and it was recommended to us by all involved with his care. The first time they have agreed with eachother about anything!
I did wonder about it, and it was a difficult thing to accept, as though I finally have to accept my ds's problems. 'But now that it has all been sorted out I am relieved. For my ds it is the best decision, also I went to see the school, and met the staff and could really see my son fitting in there and being happy as well as having his needs met, in a way to help him flourish.
My 5 year old is at mainstream, and has developed alot of behavioural problems. I will be trying to keep him there, because the senco is very good, and is quite supportive of my son and understands problems with aspergers, or appears to at the moment. If the situation changes, and my son is not getting the care he needs to do well, and is only coping with alot of effort, then I will take him out of mainstream. There are alot of good special schools out there, you have to go find them. Look at independant schools as well as state special schools. I am looking at priory schools for my 5 year old, with a view of maybe sending him at 7 if I need to.

Thanks deeeja.

DS1 has coped very well in mainstream at the same school but he is a completely different kettle of fish to DS3, he has a DX of HFA and has been talking (albeit quirkily ) since he was two.

I just cannot imagine how DS3 can go into Reception or Yr 1 with no speech and language.