Anyone else struggling with an anxious SN child who will not leave them alone?

[North87]

Hi, does anybody else struggle with a child who will not leave them alone. My dd10 (awaiting asd/adhd assessments) is constantly touching me and won't get off me. Im not talking about cuddles, I would gladly cuddle her all day. When it comes to bedtime she has to sleep in my bed. She has to hold my hand but that is not enough, she practically lays on top of me and refuses to get off me. She will keep pulling at my pyjamas, and will refuse to get off when I ask her to stop. She will keep waving her arms around in my face and grabbing hold of me. She will have to have her legs all over me, she is never happy and nothing I do is ever enough for her. I have to get up and go and lock myself in the bathroom to get away from her, she will come and start screaming and kicking the door and trying to get in. If we go out to the supermarket she will grab hold of my arm really tightly and bury her head into me and refuse to get off me. I have to sleep a certain way, laying facing her. When I am in the shower she will try to get to me and say that she needs me and needs to hold my hand. If I am ever unwell she cannot cope with it. Everything always has to be the way that she wants it. I find it so difficult because I know this escalates when her anxiety is worse, but i find it so suffocating. I wish that I had any idea how to help her, but I just feel so lost and like Im constantly failing. I've been on so many different workshops and tried to learn as much as I possibly can to help my daughter.Her behaviour can be absolutely bizarre and I find it so tough. Does anybody have any advice or have a similar child? Thanks.

Is DD receiving any support for anxiety?

Has she had a sensory OT assessment and does she have ongoing OT support? Do you have any sensory equipment/toys?

What support does DD receive at school? Does she have an EHCP?

Hi, thankyou for your reply. Dd had some sessions with M thrive for her anxiety, I really don't think this has helped at all. She has not had an OT assessment or any OT support. We do have a weighted blanket/teddies, peanut ball, chew necklaces and lots of fidgets. Any suggestions for sensory equipment are welcome please? At school she attents a few intervention groups. She doesn't have an EHCP. She masks so heavily at school that I don't know weather she would get one. Thankyou

DC who mask can still get EHCPs. You may have to appeal, but it is possible. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

What sensory kit will help depends on DD’s sensory profile. You could try a cuddle ball and a bodysok. Lots find sensory swing helps.

You could look at an OT assessment. Not all ICBs commission sensory OT on the NHS. If your area does, it is worth a referral. Even if your area doesn’t, if you request an EHCNA and the LA agrees to assess, a sensory OT assessment can be part of the needs assessment. If your area doesn’t can afford it, you could look privately.

You might find the books the the Out of Sync Child helpful. There is a has fun version too. You could also look at the Occuplaytional Therapist’s resources and this booklet.

It is worth speaking to the school in September about further support.

Thankyou, this is all very helpful. X