Completely and utterly lost

[Hibbutyhop]

My middle child has a diagnosis of autism and currently it feels like life is slowly crumbling around us with her current needs. She’s in Year 5, has had periods of absence due to school refusal and has been going in fairly regularly recently but it’s becoming more and more apparent that the offset of this is huge meltdowns at home. Our family life has been brought to a standstill and I really just don’t know which way to turn. EHCP has been applied for, currently waiting to hear back. I’ve tried so hard to be positive and advocate for her but I think I’m coming to understand just how much she’s struggling. I cannot imagine that she will be able to cope in high school and I’m just so sad that life is turning out to be so hard for.

Not really sure why I’m posting but it’s been a really tricky couple of weeks and I just don’t know what to do next. What if she can’t manage school?

Is the LA sticking to the EHCP timescale?

What support is the school providing and what have they already tried?

For the periods DD was unable to attend school, was alternative provision made for her?

There are options if school isn’t appropriate.

Her teacher is very supportive but she masks so so much at school, they don’t really have much to go on in terms of what they see. We’ve got another meeting with the SENCO this week. She’s currently having some friendship/ social support.

When DD has been absent previously, we’ve always just managed with online homework type stuff as it has tended to be a few days block at a time.

I am so so tired so am probably not being as proactive as I could be but what other options might there be for a school refuser? Home school? Online school at home? I can’t imagine she’d be anywhere close to threshold for a specialist placement.

Thanks so much for replying.

The school should still be providing support even if DD masks. The coke bottle effect you are seeing shows there are unmet needs at school. If school life was easier, home life would improve too.

You don’t have to EHE if you don’t want to. If mainstream isn’t suitable, it is possible to get a special school. Although you may have to appeal. If school is inappropriate, there is also EOTAS/EOTIS. This is education otherwise than at/in school. It is a bespoke package of education. It can include online provision for some.

Under section 19 of the Education Act 1996, the LA has a duty to provide alternative provision to those unable to attend school full-time. This should be provide once it becomes clear 15 days will be missed. The days don’t have to be consecutive or have already been missed. And provision should begin by the sixth day of absence.