Aurism Advice for managing meltdowns, hitting and eloping in a nearly three-year-old

[Leabee1234]

Almost 3 year old constant melt downs / hitting / throwing
In tears daily at how bad my sons meltdowns are getting. He is triggered by any tiny thing and this can last for ages he will scream roll around hit me continously throw everything in sight even heavier items now he is stronger wont calm down amd it can happen several times everyday
He is 3 in 2 months , I think he is pre verbal he cannot properly communicate but can say hundreds of words copy anything I say does say hi bye
And if he wants something he repeats I want it i want it but doesnt say what he wants

Its the melt downs that are tipping me over the edge atm. I feel on edge in public it and we went away recently he was hitting out other kids running in to them etc throwing himself to floor screaming. Its so hard

He also is an eloper so I cannot let him out my sight foe one second and have him on reins alot as he runs off constantly

Please can anyone give any advice on the melt downs and hitting / throwing i honestly am at my wits end and am struggling its hard

And any encouragement that it will get better. I cry almost every day - I love him so much but its so hard

It is more likely to be can’t rather than won’t calm down.

Does DS go to nursery? Has the EHCP process been started? Have they asked for advice from the Area SENCO and, if your area still has them, the special sit teaching service?

It can be helpful to keep a detailed diary to spot triggers. Nursery might do this via STAR or ABC charts.

Is DS under SALT?

Has DS had a sensory OT assessment? Hitting and throwing can sometimes be in response to sensory difficulties. You might find this booklet helpful. Also, some of the Occuplaytional Therapist’s resources. Parts of the Out of Sync Child book will be too old for DS, but parts will be OK. Do you have any sensory toys/equipment? Does DS do any throwing activities, e.g. beanbags, light balls?

Has DS also had a home OT assessment? This can look at making the house safer and better meet his needs. For now, for the heavy/dangerous items that can be thrown, I would move as much as possible out of reach.

As difficult as it is, some need someone right next to them 24/7.

For out of the house, as well as reins, do you still use a buggy?

Thank you yes he goes to nursry 3 x a week has inclusion funding and we will be applying for echp this year for starting school next year.

He is currently under salt having sessions and also is under paediatrician now as HV referred him. So being assessed for autism and going through the process

Nursery have bought sensory equipment at nursery to help and I have some at home.

Feel like I still need to do alot more research to help him

He has a buggy yes but he is a big toddler he is growing out of it

If DS is outgrowing his buggy, you could look at an SN buggy.

I would request an EHCNA ASAP. Many have to appeal even if their DC has significant needs. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

Some LAs have specialist early years assessment places for some DC who need to go through or are going through the EHCNA process. If you think a specialist place may be needed, it is worth looking if your LA does.

I agree to applying for an EHCP ASAP. It can take years to secure one. Please don’t wait.

does he wear ear defenders when out? Fidget toys, chewy necklace?

I know you said he’s triggered by anything but could you give some examples?

where were you when he was hitting out at other kids and on the floor? A soft play?

my son was like this as 3, he’s now nearly 8 and whilst still has his moments I don’t have the fear of taking him out anymore.

Thank you will look at applying asap

His triggers are anythig basically anything tiny csn trigger him if something doesnt go his way if something he doesnt like comes on tv or sound he doesnt like, if hes hugging me and I even mobe my arm, mainly when hes trying to tell me something but keeps saying I want it want but cant say what je wants

We was actuallt away on holiday in butlins for the week

Could be worth using PEC cards for communication so he can show you what it is he’s wanting.
sounds like he’s very frustrated in terms of how to express himself in ways of needs and wants.
and probably triggered by busy noisy places