Feeling sad that DS4 is getting shoved around just a little too often.

[MehgaLegs]

DS4 is three today. He is a happy, smiley little boy with GDD and low muscle tone. He gabbles and gabbles and tries desperately to communicate. His peers find him hard to cope with at times. He is not physical but he babbles excitably to them and likes to show them things. Some children do cope with him, they might baby him a little but they let him join in, laugh with him and treat him like any other child. he has many friends at preschool.

Others however do not cope with him, ok they don't know how to deal with a tall three year old who still behaves like a toddler but I am fed up of having to console a screaming DS4 who has been pushed over, bitten, punched or kicked, several times by a child who can't handle him. It's not the child I can't cope with but the parents who are too embaressed to intervene.

It's breaking my heart.

you poor thing. I take it this is happening at more mainstream activities. Have you ever asked the other parents why they dont intervene? it shouldnt make any duifference that your ds has gdd really, its just good manners

hope you are ok

Thank ryobi. It has happened a few times recently. A couple of times with the children of friends, at parties. one friend tries hard. She tells her daughter off but it keeps happening. Another little girl (who has SN but is older) is rough with him at theraply and a music group we go to. Again the mum intervenes a little but I don't how to react myself, DS4 gets clingy (he is heavy) I usually end up taking him home. At the weekend he was pushed over and hit several times by a friend son, whilst I was standing next to him. Nothing was said, I asked friend's child to leave DS4 alone which he eventually did.

He gets on best with children younger than him as they are more like him developmenatlly.

I think its quite common that he gets on well with children younger as my child does aswell. I do think its awful that people wont tell off their own children though, especially if its upsetting your ds. I am just thinking, is there any local support groups near to you? or any special needs projects you could get involved in? Lots organise outings and activities for the WHOLE family (so siblings too) and maybe it would help you not feel so isolated

I make absolutely no bones about screaming very angrily/frighteningly at a child hitting or pushing my child (or any other child) and then if the mum is right there, say "oh sorry, if I'd seen you there I'd have let you deal with it" - while knowing damn well they would have done sod all! If I can stop my autistic and (at the time) non verbal son from being aggressive then so can these parents, but lots of the time they just can't be arsed, imho.

I like your style amam! How very rude of the other parents, mehgalegs.

Yes - do what ancient says, there's no excuse for not stopping your child hurting another, if they can't stop their children then they need to remove them from the situation.

I need to toughen up. I tend to sort of scoop him up with an "Oh dear did so and so push you over again DS?" in a loud voice and kind of hope the parent will get the message.

The child at the music group is daughter of lady who runs it. most weeks it is only the two of them there. I am trying to support her as she is trying to set up a great music group for children with SN but it is embaressing that we spend most of the session trying to distract her daughter from pulling DS4's hair.

Hmmm - that is a bit awkward. Would the lady be offended if you told her daughter to stop - just thinking that sometimes kids take more notice if someone who isn't mum tells them off?!? The mum really needs to sort it tho - especially if she wants people to attend her group.