Feel like a rubbish mother..

[Mamaxo]

no judgement please just want to get it of my chest, feeling like a rubbish mother lately, feel like I don’t spend enough time with my kids even though I’m with them all the time, I always let them have screen time so I can rest basically, for context I do take them out and we colour do playdoh exc but I feel constantly like I’m counting down till bedtime , my oldest is 7 and autistic and pda so playing games with her is exhausting, every game we play she has to choose, she makes up her own rules and if we don’t follow the right rules (that we don’t know) we have to start again, she’s very repetitive to so if she likes a game we have to play it constantly saying the same things over and over on a loop basically she could play all day so I end up letting her have the iPad, we have no family support couldn’t say the last time I had time away from the kids, am I a rubbish mother? 😩 any tips?

You don’t sound rubbish, you sound exhausted.

Regarding support, does DD have an EHCP? Does she attend school? Have you had social care assessments?

Does she sleep well at night? How is her eating?

Have you looked at some of the PDA society’s resources? Some parents find the Declarative Language Handbook helpful.

@scoopofmintchocchipicecreami am exhausted tbh, feel like I’m in survival mode, we’re in wales she has a IdP in mainstream school but just applied for a specialist school (preparing to fight as nothing comes easy) her headteacher is making a referral to the disability team within social services as we have no help or support and I can’t leave the house with both kids when my partners in work. Her sleep is so so have to fight her for hours but on a good night she will sleep 9.30-4.30, eating is awful she’s extremely restricted and arfid has been mentioned in the past(but not diagnosed) will look at the pda resources thank you xx

Make sure you get a carer’s assessment as well as an an assessment of DD’s needs from children’s services.

I would push for a referral for ARFID.

Does DD take anything to help with getting to sleep? If not, I would look at a referral for that too. If she already takes something, I would ask to try something else either as well or instead of.

@scoopofmintchocchipicecreami asked for a carers assessment before and they palmed me of tbh, i find her paediatrician rubbish so not sure how to go about the arfid referral she don’t take anything to sleep either, thank you x

Request another carer’s assessment. If refused complain. If that doesn’t work, come back here for the next steps.

I would directly ask the paed for a referral for ARFID. If they won’t referral, I would ask the GP if they will. If neither would, I would complain.

It would be worth either speaking to the paed about trying something to help with sleep or asking for a referral to a sleep clinic.