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5YO ASD/ADHD/PDA & bullying

3 replies

13MAPARTHELL · Yesterday 20:14

Looking for advice from parents with experience of autism/ADHD/PDA-type profiles in primary-aged children.

My child is currently under CAMHS referral and we’re also having a meeting with school to discuss his presentation and support needs.

The main difficulty is extreme impulsivity and emotional dysregulation, especially in social situations. He can act very quickly without apparent inhibition, struggle with accepting boundaries, and sometimes says or does things that upset other children during play (e.g. unkind comments, disruptive or controlling behaviour in group play).

I’m also noticing a pattern where peers are starting to avoid him socially, and school are beginning to document concerns about peer relationships.

At home, boundaries can trigger very intense reactions very quickly, and once escalated he struggles to calm down or reflect on what’s happened.

We are waiting for CAMHS input, but I feel quite overwhelmed in the meantime and unsure what strategies actually help with this level of impulsivity and social difficulty.

Has anyone had similar experiences, particularly with children who struggle with both regulation and peer relationships, and found anything that made a difference long term (school strategies, parenting approaches, or interventions)?

hes not a bully, but the impact is the same on the children, he does not get invited to parties, kids flinch when close to him, he points and laughs at children in distress.

sadly, where all his behaviours are so impulsive, nothing sticks no amount of parenting.

OP posts:
Sunshineclouds11 · Yesterday 20:32

My DS is very impulsive due to the same reasons.

it’s hard. We had a really bad year with it, getting better but still the odd incident.

things that have helped;
EHCP
movement breaks
ear defenders
chewy necklace
we talk about kind hands every morning on way to school
social group at school (with other kids who are struggling with friendships)

what support does he have at school?

13MAPARTHELL · Yesterday 20:38

Sunshineclouds11 · Yesterday 20:32

My DS is very impulsive due to the same reasons.

it’s hard. We had a really bad year with it, getting better but still the odd incident.

things that have helped;
EHCP
movement breaks
ear defenders
chewy necklace
we talk about kind hands every morning on way to school
social group at school (with other kids who are struggling with friendships)

what support does he have at school?

Ah i am sorry to hear that but glad that things are looking up!

currently in appeals process for EHCP to be looked at

he wont tolerate any of these things sadly, we have brought them. He actually has no toys, he likes sticky things and chewing gum (we had to stop as kept swallowing) & he just does not form attachments with anything, almost everything gets broken within the hour.

not much! School have called a few times, where hes hit or threatened to murder peoples families etc. its a horrible feeling, and when im present its a awful mix of feeling sad for the other child, trying to understand my child, and trying to also make clear what they did was wrong but he has 0 shame or empathy and does not care.

we cant discipline him, as again, he does not care

it makes me feel like a failure quite honestly, and im about to leave my job so I can try and figure this all out and how to support him

OP posts:
Sunshineclouds11 · Yesterday 22:14

You are not failing ❤️ this is honestly the hardest journey. I read something today that we, as parents are having to learn their world. And it’s a minefield.

My DS just recently been diagnosed, ASD and ADHD.
it’s not for everyone but we looking to try medication, some other parents I’ve spoke to have said it’s been life changing for them, something I’m interested to see as I have no idea.

are you appealing to be assessed or was it refusal to issue?

yes I totally get that feeling in regards to work, I went down to 2 days and even that feels too much as times.

Has an early help assessment been done? Have you had meeting with senco?

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