Right so back story. I was 15 when I met my ex and he was abusive for 14 years. We had a child together. I almost lost my son to domestic violence. He was 5 when contact stopped and social services stopped contact altogether, and now he’s 15. I met my now partner or soon to be ex partner when he was 7 and we had two children together they now ages 7 and 4. Since being in the relationship my partner hasn’t accepted my son and his diagnosis and they is always conflict in the family dynamic surrounding my son and my sons behaviours. Yes my son is difficult. But my partner only communicates or acknowledges him when he’s being difficult. My son refused school in year 7 and really struggled. He dropped out and I’m his full time carer. I’m a stay at home mum to all my children full time. My partner works. Every day they is a problem and I have decided to end the relationship as it’s become too much. My son has isolated himself and has no friends and depends on me for everything and I’m his Mum, teacher, carer and friend. He hadn’t had contact with his father and sadly in 2024 his father suddenly died in his sleep of heart failure. My son has struggled since and has now become even more attached to me. My partner can’t seem to understand why or becomes frustrated that my son doesn’t give him time with me. He says I’m too lenient and let him get away with everything. He just wants to discipline him and offers him no love or affection. My son is a hugger and he asks my partner for hugs and he says no. Or he will say things like he isn’t putting up with how my son treats him. Then we argue as he struggles to understand he can’t help some of his behaviours. We have no support. OH mother has never wanted to know our children’s and she very toxic his daughter who is 18 lives with his Mum and she only cares for her. She said to me she doesn’t care about my children and that caused me to not want contact with her. I used to drive and crashed my car and now I m more stuck at home. I’m currently having trauma therapy due to my sons outburst stressing me out and causing my CPTSD to worsen as he becomes angry and it is triggering and reminds of his father who abused me. My son has had social workers and CAMHS involved but because he refuses help into leave the home they can’t do no more. He games all day and I do everything for him as he can’t cook or make snacks my I also have two other kids who are difficult and possible on the spectrum. Everyone in my house doesn’t eat the same and has sensory issues around food. Sleeping is an issue and I sleep with my daughter who is 3. I haven’t been intimate with my partner for 3 months as the ways he treats my son puts me off him. He is very quiet and he has always been quiet. He said he’s stressed and fed up and feels my son controls him. My son struggles to understand that I may want to spend time with my partner and he doesn’t allow us time together. He wants to do everything with me and obviously my partner can’t accept it. He handles things wrong and shouts and becomes annoyed with my son and which only makes him more attached to me. I feel stuck in the middle. My son is demand avoidant and does speak to my partner like rubbish. However he also speaks and treats me the same way. I’m different even though he does I still show love and affection but my partner doesn’t and says he isn’t enabling his behaviour and doesn’t want to interact with my son. I feel stuck and divide in the house and torn between my son and my partner and I always in the middle as my partner accuses me of letting him get away with things but I just see a hurt boy who is grieving and struggling so much. He just needed a dad. This has caused me to retract from partner and to end the relationship. He says he’s sick of being just a parent. But this is what we chose. In his past his Mother has his daughter a lot but now we have no support I think he isn’t used to it. We share a home and he can’t leave yet as he needs to save for own place and I can’t get a council home as I own this one. But when he leaves I cont cope financially either. But for the peace I’m willing to accept that. I just feel like I’m always at fault. And it’s draining me the pressure and stress I have for caring for my kids and my son who is struggling. I stopped work to care for my son as he becomes very stressed and smashing the home up when he is having a meltdown. He holds on to me and has hit me out of anger. He feels when I spent anytime with partner I’m forgetting him and it would spiral. He asks me every day to watch tv or go for a walk but I have respect at home with my 3 year old. And cooking, cleaning etc. my son has become more depressed and says he has no one else and only me. I feel it’s a lot for me and my partner just made things worse. Feel so lost. I have lost myself. I have no alone time. No space. I’m depressed. I spend my days just in conflict and stressed in the house.