Feeling exhausted by my SN child’s behaviour and needing support

[Stressedoutmummyof3]

Since Easter which I know isn't that long DSs behaviour has been so unmanageable. I thought it was because he was off school but he's still the same. Not sleeping, spitting ,hitting all the time and doing things he knows he's not supposed to. Today I went to the toilet, came back and he'd managed to turn the tap on and poured water all over the kitchen floor. I know it's only water but it's just another mess to clear up.
He's only in school part time but even if he wasn't the afternoons would feel so long. He's only interested in any activity for 5 minutes and I run out of things to do with him. Usually we go out but it's raining today so we're stuck in.
Luckily he doesn't misbehave at school but anywhere else he misbehaves. I think a big part of it is frustration. He is non verbal and still in nappies with a cognitive age of around 36 months
I'm not really sure why I'm posting i just feel so alone and the whole time he's at school I'm just counting down the minutes dreading when I have to pick him up.
I know I sound awful and I'd never say anything out loud but I feel exhausted by him. I love him to bits but he's such hard work. I feel like such a crap mum, has anyone got a way I can start being a better mum and help my little boy feel happy again.

Your aren’t a crap mum. Not at all.

You need a home OT assessment to look at making the house safe and better meet DS’s needs. For example, they can help with locks for taps and, if necessary, a lock on the kitchen door.

Why is DS only attending school part-time?

Does DS have an EHCP? If so, what support is in it?

Does DS take anything to he,p with sleep?

Have you had social care assessments? A carer’s assessment for you and an assessment via the disabled children’s team.

Can you still go out despite the rain or doesn’t DS tolerate it?

Thanks for replying. I'm not sure how to go about accessing any of the assessments. He does have an EHCP but he can't cope with full time hours, although TBF school have worked hard on this. He used to attend for 90 minutes he's now up to around 3 and 1/2 hours a day but it's a slow process.
We're currently waiting to go to tribunal because DS really needs a special school
DH doesn't want DS to take medication although I think it would help and make nights easier.
DS doesn't like being out in the rain (or wind). It was a struggle to get him to school this morning due to the rain.

For social care assessments, on their website, Contact has model letters you can use to send to the council.

For a home OT assessment, if you google “[your area] OT aids equipment adaptations” you should be able to find who you need. If you contact them and someone else deals with paeds cases, they should be able to point you in the right direction. If you can’t find it, ask for GP or school nursing service who to contact. They should, in theory, be able to tell you.

When is your hearing? If it isn’t imminent, I would request an expedited hearing on the basis DS isn’t in school full time.

Is alternative provision in place for the time DS isn’t attending school?

Would approaching the sleep conversation with DH work out if you were to explain that a lot of ND children just naturally make less melatonin so giving it them isn't sedation it's more replacing what they re missing, in comparison to say if they were diabetic and made too little insulin they wouldn't say no to that?

Just ranting a bit now because I'm pissed off. BH on Monday so DH will be around but he also decided to take Friday off. I asked him to switch the day to Tuesday but he refused (Tuesday will cost him an extra hour of holiday). The reason I'm annoyed is because every single Friday I go to my dad's with DS. I don't like to miss a, week since my mum died and dad isn't young anymore. So he's taking a day off when we won't even be there. I pointed this out and DH said well it's not my fault Friday is a shorter work day but it's only by a bloody hour.
Just to point out I didn't ask him to take holiday I just asked him to change the day and yes I'm pissed off he gets a day to himself which I never ever get.
Back to the actual point of the thread, thank you for the advice about OT and care assessment. As for sleeping issues DH seems to be convinced DS will get addicted to the medication and it'll cause more problems. I'm tempted to make a GP appointment at least get all the information but I really think DS needs more sleep (although he never seems low on energy).

Definitely make that GP appointment to get the ball rolling, melatonin certainly isn't possible to get addicted to and if DH isn't backing you up in others ways I d be ignoring the ignorance he has in regards to the sleep issues.