Feeling exhausted by my SN child’s behaviour and needing support

[Stressedoutmummyof3]

Since Easter which I know isn't that long DSs behaviour has been so unmanageable. I thought it was because he was off school but he's still the same. Not sleeping, spitting ,hitting all the time and doing things he knows he's not supposed to. Today I went to the toilet, came back and he'd managed to turn the tap on and poured water all over the kitchen floor. I know it's only water but it's just another mess to clear up.
He's only in school part time but even if he wasn't the afternoons would feel so long. He's only interested in any activity for 5 minutes and I run out of things to do with him. Usually we go out but it's raining today so we're stuck in.
Luckily he doesn't misbehave at school but anywhere else he misbehaves. I think a big part of it is frustration. He is non verbal and still in nappies with a cognitive age of around 36 months
I'm not really sure why I'm posting i just feel so alone and the whole time he's at school I'm just counting down the minutes dreading when I have to pick him up.
I know I sound awful and I'd never say anything out loud but I feel exhausted by him. I love him to bits but he's such hard work. I feel like such a crap mum, has anyone got a way I can start being a better mum and help my little boy feel happy again.

Your aren’t a crap mum. Not at all.

You need a home OT assessment to look at making the house safe and better meet DS’s needs. For example, they can help with locks for taps and, if necessary, a lock on the kitchen door.

Why is DS only attending school part-time?

Does DS have an EHCP? If so, what support is in it?

Does DS take anything to he,p with sleep?

Have you had social care assessments? A carer’s assessment for you and an assessment via the disabled children’s team.

Can you still go out despite the rain or doesn’t DS tolerate it?

Thanks for replying. I'm not sure how to go about accessing any of the assessments. He does have an EHCP but he can't cope with full time hours, although TBF school have worked hard on this. He used to attend for 90 minutes he's now up to around 3 and 1/2 hours a day but it's a slow process.
We're currently waiting to go to tribunal because DS really needs a special school
DH doesn't want DS to take medication although I think it would help and make nights easier.
DS doesn't like being out in the rain (or wind). It was a struggle to get him to school this morning due to the rain.

For social care assessments, on their website, Contact has model letters you can use to send to the council.

For a home OT assessment, if you google “[your area] OT aids equipment adaptations” you should be able to find who you need. If you contact them and someone else deals with paeds cases, they should be able to point you in the right direction. If you can’t find it, ask for GP or school nursing service who to contact. They should, in theory, be able to tell you.

When is your hearing? If it isn’t imminent, I would request an expedited hearing on the basis DS isn’t in school full time.

Is alternative provision in place for the time DS isn’t attending school?

Would approaching the sleep conversation with DH work out if you were to explain that a lot of ND children just naturally make less melatonin so giving it them isn't sedation it's more replacing what they re missing, in comparison to say if they were diabetic and made too little insulin they wouldn't say no to that?