Hi, title is pretty self explanatory but im at a loss of what to do.
My job is at risk due to needing to safeguard my daughter and I've been advised to claim DLA but I'm not sure if they'll be like thats your job as a mom to look after your child.
Im pretty sure my daughter has undiagnosed ADHD and/or Autism. She has slowly increased her school avoidance. First it was the odd day truanting because I leave the house before she gets on the bus. I took her to the doctors after she truanted and walked a 12 mile trip as this felt like a cry to help for me but they dismissed it and said from their point of view they couldnt see any concerns. Then she trashed her room and barricaded the door on another occasion to try and prevent access.
I have discovered quite significant self harm (most of her left arm is covered in cuts as well as the top of both thighs). I feel so stupid I didnt notice sooner but we both hate the cold and her body is changing so it didnt seem out of the ordinary for her to be wearing long sleeves and getting dressed in the bathroom after showering but I discovered an app on her phone and this shows she has been self harming for the last 9 months. I work as an SEND TA so am trained to spot all the signs but with it being winter had completely missed them.
She completely shuts down in the morning. Either sits vacant and then bursts into tears and a panic attack, sometimes she'll get dressed and other times she allows me to dress her but the last 2 days Iv been unsuccessful. Iv begged her to go to school so I can go to work. Her response is for me to go to work and leave her at home but she doesnt seem to understand that because of her self harm that is now not an option. In her head she doesnt do it anymore but I know thats because im at home and monitoring her.
She struggles to sleep at night so I have to remain awake checking on her and is known to wake up really early to work out because all she sees is flaws in the mirror despite being a healthy weight. (I also discovered unhealthy thinspo on her phone particularly gaunt girls with prominent collar bones).
I have asked my employer for an unpaid 30 minute grace period to get her to school but they declined saying they couldnt support that. I'm now currently signed off for 3 weeks to see what her CAHMS assessment says on the 6th May but I feel this will be a lengthy process as she won't talk, just continues to tell everyone who speaks to her that there isnt an issue despite refusing school daily.
She currently has access to the inclusion centre which she utilises for all of her lessons as there is a reduced number of children and noise, a time out pass, weekly sessions with the school nurse and time to talk with a counsellor. I have asked the school for her plan but yet to receive a reply. Maybe I'm wrong but in my head if she has these provisions in place they should be documented.
Not sure if I've explained this well enough, my head is very fried atm and im tired. Does anyone have any experience with this. Is it likely to be rejected as this is part of my role as a mother. Also any advice to support her getting to school would be extremely appreciated because iv exhausted all of my SEN training and feel like an absolute failure right now.
Thankyou