Can you wise folk tell me what to do?

[Bug84]

I’ll try and keep it short and sweet…. 🤣

DS is 5, nearly 6. In mainstream state primary school, year 1. Referred for autism assessment last summer at end of reception, the letter said 70 weeks so I’m hoping by the end of this year we might be close to an appt. Apparently, right to choose is currently closed in our area.

He’s the middle of 3, and he’s verbal, continent, etc. I suspected autism from age 1 due to a difference in communication from his big bro, and we are pretty convinced now - I don’t think there’s any doubt. If they still did it, I’m guessing he’d get an Asperger’s diagnosis. His main challenges are social - still prefers playing alone, goes into own world, obsessive interests, etc.

Things have got really hard recently around school. After feb half term he developed this huge school anxiety and it’s become a massive event trying to get him in every day. He constantly says he doesn’t want to go, cries, screams, clings to us, etc. it’s traumatic for him and us.

school are on the face of it very supportive. Lovely teacher who agrees he is autistic and needs extra support. Said he is going to have to do ‘plan, do review’ process this term. I have filled out a SEN profile sheet over Easter hols. Here’s the thing… I’m worried that this will soon tip into full on school refusal. I’m new to all this and aware nothing is easily won in Sen parent world. Someone today told me I could be applying for an EHCP myself?? Is this right.,,

I really think what he needs if there’s a chance of him being happy in this school is his own TA, someone to consistently welcome him, let him take breaks etc. but y2 is coming and is obviously very different to y1. I’m worried this whole process willl take way too long.

could anyone explain to me in idiot terms what you would do next, if it were you? 🙏🙏

Yes, you can request an EHCNA now. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

Also, request a meeting with the SENCO.

What support is the school providing? What have they already tried that hasn't worked? Has the school asked for advice from any outside agencies?

You mention having someone to meet DS at school; not all schools can, but some schools can provide that, although not necessarily the same person or guaranteed all the time, without an EHCP. Also, things like arriving 5/10 mins early/late via a quieter entrance. Having a softer start can help.

So far it’s been pretty informal, they’ve tried - giving him a transitional object to take home & bring in, which hasn’t really done anything at all apart from give me another thing to remember 🤣. Mostly it’s been reactive to the situation in the morning so the TA or sometimes the head has come over to help try and distract, let him read outside for a bit before coming in… it doesn’t work, we just leave while he is screaming and then they say he settles. we also tried breakfast club which worked for a bit but then he just refused to go in one day.
they do say that once he calms down, he is ‘fine’ and will often say he’s had a good day and tell me some nice moments. I have my own thoughts on that and tbh can’t see him coping in a mainstream high school but…. One thing at a time. Just trying to approach day by day at the mo. My main concerns are practical right now as I’m trying to get back to work and also with the other two siblings to drop off - it’s throwing a massive spanner in the works every morning.

Definitely open to trying the earlier / later entrance thing, they have floated that as an idea. The only problem there is he would be doing something different to his big bro but it’s worth a shot

thank you, just reading up on EHCNA - is it best to ask the teacher what they think, if I should ask myself, or would they try to persuade me out of it?

Speak to the SENCO about requesting an EHCNA, but don’t let them put you off by saying DS won’t get one or doesn’t need one. I also wouldn’t wait for the school to make the request, which may be months away even if they say they will do it straight away. I would do it yourself now.

’Fine’. Hmm. It is highly likely there are signs DS isn’t ‘fine’. The school either isn’t noticing them or noticing them but not recognising them for what they are.

If DS1 isn’t able to go into school independently, can he go in 5/10 mins early/late too? At least initially.

If your area still has a specialist teaching service, request the school contacts them.

Does the school have a nurture group?

Thank you so much.
Today I’ve emailed the teacher to let them know I’m planning to ask for the EHCNA, let’s see what they say. I’ve also attempted to find out how much longer we’ll be waiting for the autism assessment by leaving an answer phone message for the secretary (number was on the referral letter) and I’ve called the GP and got a phone appt (in 3 weeks 🙄) to ask about right to choose, someone else told me today it actually is still running in our area… let’s see.

I agree with trying to get him earlier/later, or even through the office door. There’s are children at my DS school who go in via office so away from the busy playground and noise.

Good to get the ball rolling with EHCP.

Is he on the SEN register at school?
don’t know if differs in areas but before my DS got his EHCP he got 10 hours with being on SEN register.

Does he have;
Ear defenders
Fidget toy
Chew toy

is he allowed movement breaks?

Whilst waiting for GP, look at which clinic you want to choose, fill the forms ready to take them GP should do it more or less straight away instead of back and forth with forms.