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Child development referrals keep being rejected. Where do I go now?

2 replies

Kitty8204 · 19/03/2026 21:25

Looking for any advice I can get really. I have 10 year old twin girls. One is diagnosed autistic after years of battling the system to get her seen, covid played a big part in the delays. We had 4 different consultants over 6 years and while the last one didn’t want to proceed with ADOS2 due to my daughter masking at school and only showing signs outside of school, they did agree to do it basically to keep me happy. Anyway, she scored highly and the consultant apologised for the time it had taken. My other daughter within that time and since has been referred 3 times and rejected 3 times because, like her sister, she masks at school. We’re barely out the school grounds some days when she loses it. I’m having the hardest time with her at home and I don’t know how to move forward. She’s under the school nurse, I’m paying privately for counselling which is bleeding me dry. Her sister had play therapy through a charity which was amazing and really helped her but they’re overwhelmed at the moment and have closed their waiting list. Should I email the consultants secretary directly and plead my case? It’s so obvious to me that she is ND and the school have said they see some traits and she’s super anxious at school, always has been. But I’ve no idea what exactly they wrote in their referral. The first 2 referrals were through the GP. We’re in Scotland if that makes a difference. Anyone else been in same boat?

OP posts:
ChasingMoreSleep · 20/03/2026 13:34

You have nothing to lose by politely contacting the secretary. It might not be them who deals with referrals, but they will be able to signpost you to the co-ordinator who does.

I would also speak to the school again. Firstly, about support. That isn’t based on diagnosis. Secondly, about what they are including in the referral.

Kitty8204 · 20/03/2026 17:53

ChasingMoreSleep · 20/03/2026 13:34

You have nothing to lose by politely contacting the secretary. It might not be them who deals with referrals, but they will be able to signpost you to the co-ordinator who does.

I would also speak to the school again. Firstly, about support. That isn’t based on diagnosis. Secondly, about what they are including in the referral.

Thank you for responding. I will do this.

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