Think i might just give up!

[bonkerz]

Its all too much right now.

Today topped it all being told by SENA that DSs problems are my fault and the PRU told me they know what DS needs better than me.

Maybe i am fighting a losing battle. Feel the lowest i have felt in ages today.

Marriage is really strugglng under this strain. Finances are in a bad place and it looks like we may have to get rid of my car Thursday cos cant afford to get it fixed. No car means no life (live in viallage crap public transport) Also means i cant get DS when he is kicked out on exclusion or take DS to appointments as all a good 30 min drive away.

Want to just grab my kids and run TBH, dont have the energy to fight for DS AND for my marriage.

oh good, glad that you're getting lots of responses. will try to suppress an immature snigger at the thought of the PRU getting bombarded with phone calls!

Ha, well done Bonkerz! And since we live in a FREE country, they can't actually tell you not to contact schools, you do as you well please! Good on you!

Sounds like you've put the cat among the pigeons! Keep it up!

Not been online much recently so have missed this latest hassle you've been having. Well done on getting the email evidence. Your ds is very lucky to have you as his mum

Hi bonkerz

I am going through very similar procedure as yourself except our Tribunal is not until November.

Ignore the PRU. When you get to Tribunal and the LEA say "X" school would be suitable, you can then say "no it's not because they cannot meet his needs, they have said so in writing". The Panel will respect you for going to all the trouble of contacting all those schools.

You say you are at Appeal stage. If that is correct and you are waiting to hear if your Appeal is successful, then save all the school info for the Case Statement. Don't send it in now as late evidence. Case Statement bundles are exchanged and the Panel will be able to see that you have definitely done your homework on this and the least amount of notice you give the LEA as to what evidence you have, the better.

If they had done their job properly in the first place, you would not have been going through this now.

I wish you lots and lots of luck.

Hi Candle

How's it going?

(sorry bonkerz don't mean to hijack)

Hurrah for Bonkerz! I bet the LEA give in before Tribunal. They are just being muppets (not a strong enough word, but conveys their foolishness well!)

Found out some info last night that makes me more confident this is a case of postcode lottery. My SIL who lives in next county has a child at the school she teaches at and he has a DX of ODD same as DS. That child has just got a place at the priory school i want DS to go to! SIL says there was no SENDIST or anything, the school felt they could not meet his needs and decided the best place for him was Priory! No questions asked! So basically if i had MIL postcode chances of DS getting a place would be alot better!!! MAkes me sick!
NUMBER OF MS THAT CANT HAVE DS: 23

Candle: thanks for replying, sorry to hear you are going through this c##p too! I plan to send this info in about 2 weeks before the appeal, at the last appeal i took late evidence for the panel but it got refused as they should have had it BEFORE not ON THE DAY IYKWIM. I dont have much hope they will cave in before the appeal TBH but fingers crossed SENDIST can see what is so blindingly obvious from the evidence and that is that DS NEEDS SECURITY AND A SPECIAL SCHOOL WILL OFFER THAT!!! I cant believe the PRU actually want him to go to a 3rd MS to be honest when he has failed in 2 already!

NUMBER OF MS THAT CANT HAVE DS: 27

Had a couple of excellent emails, have copied and pasted below...

1."However, I would not say that we are ideally placed to meet Bens needs. I suggest that you ask the Local Authority to suggest a mainstream school for Ben, and consider mainstream school which have specialised units attatched"

2."It would also appear that he is actually in the best place in the PRU as they are meeting the needs as outlined. There also appears to be some progress, although small steps, at the PRU. I cannot imagine a mainstream school being able to provide the support, training, resources and group sizes that the PRU has to offer."

3."Having read the detailed information that you have sent, I am surprised that the LA is still maintaining that Ben's needs can be met in mainstream - this is a general policy that they try to operate and is not necessarily the best for every SEN child. You have already had two unsuccessful attempts at mainstream and there is no reason to suppose that any other mainstream primary school what be greatly different from those you have tried. I suggest that you seek a special school environment "

So as you can say there are lots of other professionals who are agreeing with what i think is best for DS!!!!! This is brill considering i deliberately made sure i made no mention what so ever that i wanted DS in a special school and actually made out like i wanted MS!!!!!

I like your style Bonkerz!

that 3rd e-mail is ace, hope it embarasses the LEA!

My intentions are to embarress the hell out of the LEA!!!! Did it before at last appeal and feel quite confident i can do it again. Still not confident i can get the priory named though but fingers crossed.

Wooo Hooo go Bonkerz!!!!!!

i had to laugh when i read about the PRU telling you not to contact any more schools, well we dont live in a police state so you contact as many as you flippin well like!!!!

this brings back memories of a year ago when we were seeking a place for ds at his priory school, we went over the LEA,s head and the headteacher of the priory wrote us a letter stating that ds did meet the criteria for a place at his school, the LEA were furious, the head SEN Manager was banging her fist on the table telling me "YOU CANNOT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS U CANNOT HAVE THE DX ON THE STATEMENT AND THE SCHOOL OF YOUR CHOICE".

well guess what we have so there!!!!!!!

you go girl proud of ya!!!!!

I want DS1 to go to ASD Unit at local (ish) primary (next year) but was a bit taken aback to discover that the nursery think they are going to 'arrange' it all for me - i.e draw up a list of two schools for me to 'choose' from. I hope my fight isn't as drawn out though - I hope you succeed, you can be my inspiration !

thanks
You ladiiieeeessss give me strentgh to continue this fight.
PRU head did actually say yesterday that the Priory is not a well recognised school! I had to point out (and was happy too) that the priory group had been running for years and specialised in mental health and spectrum disorders and also had hospitals and access to a wide range of services etc! Head also tried to tell me that cos we have no formal DX of ASD DS would not get access to priory!! Well i already have the letter fron priory offering DS a placement at a reduced wait for 3 weeks and stating how they would meet ALL DSs needs!!!

reduced cost not wait! DUH

RUHUBISH what the head of PRU says.

see they will try anything to get you to drop out now, tunnel vision thats what you have to have, expect them to up the anti from now until your tribunal they tried everything with us, they even sent me an email they had supposedly been sent from one of the schools we wanted ( we had 2 in mind) from the headteacher saying they couldnt admit DS cos he didnt have a dx at that time.

the email was on LEA paper and had been "re-typed" by the SEN Asessment manager, so when i asked to see the original she said she couldnt due to privacy laws, so i phoned up the councils data protection dept and told them, a few phonecalls later and the head of the council is emailing me calling me Jen and saying he is sure they can sort something out, outcome was that DS went to priory, ive gone a bit off subject now just wanted to give you an example of what they will try.

stay strong you are doing GREAT

thanks jenk, its reassuring to know its nor personnal and that LEAs nationwide will do this type of crap too!
I have reached a point where i know what i want, i think i have preempted everything they may throw at us in defence and will wait for their case file evidence to arrive! I am struggling to think what evidence they have got together though to back up their theory that MS is best!

well the only thing they could throw at us was

Mr and Mrs XXXXXXXX are currently NOT allowing/permitting DS to try a mainstream school.

haha i can laugh about it now but last year when i read that i was sooooooo

our private psych just laughed and laughed when i emailed him the papers and said you got em game set and match to you.

yeah i think that LEA will try to say we dont know if full time support will work in MS becasue we havent tried it and will say im being unreasonable. Have suppenered (?SP) the head of last MS cos she WAS giving full time support to DS and will push the fact he has failed in 2 MS already and that MANY other MS schools are unable to meet his needs even WITH promise of full time support and enhacned package!

lol at priory not being well-recognised - granted it's more famous for rehab clinics/psych treatment than for helping kids with SN, but as a brand name it is really really famous!

You know I am watching this thread now with baited breathe! I hope you sock it to them bonkerz!

I have just tonight finished getting all my papers/evidence etc into some sort of order and photocopied at least 500 sheets over the past two days, in order to send it to my ds's solicitor.

I am going the solicitor/barrister route. We want a residential placement and we know the LEA will fight tooth and nail. I just cannot risk my son having a 3rd bout of depression and missing another year of school.

It is funny how that name Priory keeps coming up! Maybe we ought to have a Priory fan club!

TC, i think thats what shocked me when he said it! He thought the priory school was opened by locals playing at schools! I also gladly informed him that the head of the priory school had worked in my county and state run schools for over 30 years so knew the area and knew of the short falls in our county regarding SEN provision!!!

Candlewax, I know a family who had to spend 10k fighting my LEA to get a residential school BUT she won and her DS is very happy now, goodluck! Know what oyu mean about paperwork though, my life is consumed by it and has been for months!

WE HAVE DATES FOR THE ADOS TEST, Ds will be taking the test July 24th and i am going in for the ADI_R test on 29th. Doc is also going to go and observe DS in PRU although she said herself its s staged environment and she doesnt expect to see very much so she has arranged to go and meet with head of last MS which is fab!The doc did say after reading my letters about DS she felt i was right to push for further testing and she can definately see AS traits in what i have written about DS. She also said she has done alot of research into ASD and has found that the communication triad of the spectrum is the one which causes most issues because she has found the older the child the harder they work at hiding those difficulties!!! This is definately true in DS!

Progress!
(Ps Our Ds now has a dx of autism - no shock we all guessed years ago but the delay has cost ds dear! When a childs progress, mental health and education is suffering why on earth can the lea/ powers that be, not have a 'working hypothesis' based on the childs needs, after all education is supposed to meet the childs need irrespective of the dx! If the support was put in earlier, it would probably save money in the long run! Rant over!!)
Well done! Your son has a true diamond for a mum!

thanks magso but im nothing special, im doing what all you ladies on here have done or are doing.
What you say is so right, if a child's needs are recognised they should be met , Reality is so different though and its the blanket policys and legal loopholes that allow this to happen! So much emphasis has been put on inclusion that specialist provision has been made so specialist its hard to access!

NUMBER OF MS THAT CANT HAVE DS: 30