Medication to help with anxiety DS12

[StarsHollow2125]

My DS12 is diagnosed (privately) with autism and we have massively struggled with attending school for the last 3 years. He is awaiting assessment on our local NHS neurodevelopmental assessment service, but we likely have another 2 or 3 years to wait. I also question whether he has ADHD but we have no diagnosis for this.

His school has been brilliant and have put in place many accommodations, we have meetings every 6 weeks to review and we are now working with the secondary school he will move to next academic year. I feel we have tried everything - reduced timetables, ear defenders, time out class when needed, a space in class he can go to to decompress, he never has to participate in anything he feels uncomfortable with, they have been very understanding to his sensory needs, he has flexibility with his uniform, doesn't have to go on playground when it is too noisy and chaotic etc. There is likely many more things they/we do that I can't think of right now.

He currently only attends the morning session and comes home for lunch and the afternoon. Despite this, and all the other accommodations, he only manages to attend on average 3 mornings a week, sometimes 4 at the most. I very much feel he has been in burnout for the last couple of years and have been very low demand parenting and doing things at his pace to try and help. If this is the best we can do in terms of attendance then I am fine with it. I would rather have a child who can only attend school for half the week than have a burnt out shell of a child truly broken.

Recently we have tried some hypnotherapy sessions and I think they have helped slightly and it's made me think if there anything else I can do to help him and my mind has turned to medication. He currently takes melatonin and it massively changed his ability to sleep and if there is anything else that would help ease his anxiety I would be open to him trying it. So, my question is what is your experience with medication for anxiety, what should I be thinking of, pros/cons, any advice would be appreciated. I am considering making a GP appointment to discuss this with them but I'd like some lived experience from other parents.

Many thanks for getting this far.

Some people find antidepressants help with anxiety. However, most GPs will not initiate antidepressants in children and require them to be started by a child and adolescent psychiatrist. It can take time to find the right medication and dose. Things can get worse before they get better and some find the side effects intolerable. Best practice is for antidepressants to be alongside therapeutic input, not instead of. DS1 tried 3 other antidepressants before settling on the one he is on now. It hasn’t been a miracle cure but it has helped.

Some find propanol or similar useful. Either as well or instead of. Some GPs will initiate prescribing these, but not all will. Again, it can take time to find the right medication and dose. Things can get worse before they get better and some find the side effects intolerable.

Does DS have an EHCP?

Is alternative provision in place?

What outside agencies has the school approached for advice and support?

Has DS had an EP assessment? What about OT and SALT?

Thank you for taking the time to reply.
We're in Scotland, so no EHCPs here, but he is registered as Additional Support Needs and we have a Coordinated Support Plan which we meet and review every 6 weeks.
Outside agency wise he has had seen over the years a EP, OH, School Nurse, Autism Outreach. There is no alternative provision from mainstream, just accommodations within mainstream environment.

Have you spoken to Enquire? DS still has a right to a full-time education. If DS is unable to attend school full-time, other provision can be made.

Thank you - I hadn't heard of them but just looked them up and will make contact with them to see what they can suggest.