Any experience moving child from mainstream to specialist at Y3?

[Veebs21]

We have just had a parental preference of specialist school named for our DD for September 2026. She’ll be moving from
mainstream to a really lovely new ASD school, not too far from us — she will be part of the first primary cohort.

We are thrilled to have secured a place that will work for her until she is 18. However I can’t say I’m not terrified of the transition for her. Right now, she likes school. She is mostly coping, but I think it’s becoming clearer every day that the environment won’t work for herd, and some days isn’t now, and so we are making a call now to avoid the placement breaking down outside of a key stage transfer.

Does anyone have experience of moving a fairly happy, settled child at this age, and can give me some advice or positive stories? I’m terrified at how she’s going to cope with the move, and being taken away from all she knows and feels safe around… particularly from her sister who is in reception. I think she’s going to think she’s done something wrong, and I don’t think she will understand it when we try to explain.

We are waiting on correspondence from the school but I know they will do a comprehensive settling and transition programme. My heart just hurts she can’t complete her primary school years with the peers she has bonded with, in her own way, and her sister 😢

I don’t have experience of moving for Y3 but I understand to feeling of sadness when DC can’t attend a local school alongside others. Change can be difficult in the beginning but it sounds like it will help long term, that is what I would hold onto. Allowing DD to move on a positive before she experiences trauma is so much easier than waiting until things are untenable.

If it is a new school, can you ask around at your local parent carer forum or other SEN group to see if anyone else who is starting would meet up?

We are thrilled to have secured a place that will work for her until she is 18.

Just so you are aware, this isn’t guaranteed. Y6 and Y11 will still be phase transfer years and there is no guarantee the LA will name the new school. You would be able to challenge it, but it is something to be aware of.

Thanks @ExistingonCoffee, yes moving before she experiences any school trauma was very much our goal in all of this, but yet making such a huge move for her when she is currently so settled & comfortable makes my brain every now and then go… “but could she maybe manage mainstream primary and then we could move her after?” Even though I know the answer… not to mention “manage” is of course never our aim, we want her to thrive. I just wish it was going to be easier for her to understand.

I’ve found one Mum so far, but assume there will be more when the deadline for naming comes round on 13th Feb. Really hoping there will be at least another girl for her but we’ll see.

Oh yes, I know it’s not a given she will stay and that we will have the key stage transfers to contend with, but all being well and her needs remaining the same, I’m hopeful that the provision won’t change. I know her new school’s hope is to offer all of its Y6 pupils a place at Y7, assuming they can still meet need.

We did this, started in September. DS is very sociable and made friends quickly, being in the right environment has meant a lot to him... he is actually able to learn! He had lots of lovely friends at his old school but he is adamant he would never go back 😊

We did this and I cannot express how positive and lifechanging it has been for
our son and for us. Our paediatrician said to
us when you get the school right, so much opens up elsewhere in their lives because of the capacity that emerges and it
was true for us. Wish we did it sooner but shared same fears about leaving mainstream. But we are no longer in a battle with school about meeting the provision, see our son in an environment where he can really learn and the social and extracurricular side is great too.
I wish you and your family very well in this!

This is so wonderful to read @Et100 & @Bobobab ❤Thank you for sharing. I know/hope I will look back in a year and wonder why I worried so much… I think it’s now just the knowing and waiting now. How did you explain it to yours? Did you say much, and if so, when did you start? We are already thinking ahead to whether we even ask her teacher not to make a fuss on her last day, I know they will want to say goodbye and do something nice for her but that might make it worse?

We went to visit the new school and explained how it was going to suit him - much more support, smaller calmer classrooms and he was pretty excited about going. We did that quite close to end of term so he wasn’t worrying. He’s had moments of missing old school but the progress and the way the new school meets his needs has just made such a positive impact, it’s never that he wants to go back, just that he misses some people. We’ve stayed in touch where we can but the environment hadn’t supported him with friendships very much and he was experiencing some bullying there so we’ve put more energy into building new ones. I hope it turns out really well for you.