TV Alert!!!! My Child Won't Eat . ITV MONDAY 16th June

[MUM23ASD]

ITV: My Child Won't Eat
Monday, 16 June 2008, 9:00PM - 10:00PM

[[http://www.a2mediagroup.com/?c=176&a=23228

Sounds good as dealing with children with phobia about food... not the usual 'fussy eater' stuff we see.
Doesn't mention Autism etc....but may still be relavent?

Here's the bit that rings bells with my DS2 & DS1:

"Mum Sally had no problem moving Bobby from milk to purees, but problems started when she tried to introduce solid food. Everything with lumps in it was rejected.

Every mealtime she cooks for him, only to have the meal rejected: "If I don't offer him a meal I'm never going to get anywhere and there's never going to be an improvement so every day and every mealtime I continue to put a meal in front of him but I know even before I put it down he's not going to eat it."

Sally has tried all manner of strategies suggested by other health professionals to try to get Bobby to eat and break the deadlock, to no avail. She's even tried starving him. Mealtimes are fraught and Sally's terrified Bobby can't survive on just the yoghurt he eats and that he will soon need medical intervention.

At the point of tears and desperation, Sally says: "All I can envisage is Bobby laid in a hospital bed with a drip in his arm because that's the only place I can see it ending.

I don't believe anybody can come in and sort Bobby out and I'm just about ready to give up my fight."

"Snacktime" always annoys me too...as mine never drank milk or ate fruit (ds1 & 2 that is...ds3 at least does eat fruit)

so at snack time they had to 'read a book' as ofcourse they hated water too!!!!

THAT is not INCLUSIVE!!!!

I always thought why can't they eat a dairlea triangle or a tube type yoghurt...so at least they could join in? And surely if i provided a milkshake (concealed in a container in such way as to not be unfair to the others)....

but no....FRUIT & MILK ...NO ALTERNATIVES

i mentioned once on here(before sn was shut in it;s cupboard) that dd had crisps for breakie........yikes
now we have moved on to jaffa cakes. funny thing is looking at the lunch menu on that thread. she would eat it all(chilli might be hard as mince makes her cough)

TOTAL...one day join me on a main board for some fun ...where they can lynch us...and we can stick together!!!!

can i join in?

yeah, I hate it when people assume because my ds doesn't eat 'normally' that I have been lacking in what I offer (although it has to be said I am not best cook in world). I know full well what he should be eating but getting it down him is a different matter. Want to invite these people to my house and see if they can get him to eat a curry. Ds' school are really good about encouraging the children to try new foods - which takes the edge off the shame when I pack the biccy's in his lunch box!

Have to say I have been a bit shocked at the way people talk to each other on other boards, everyone is so nice on special needs!

2shoes.....well ......crisps are potaoe...and potatoes are vegetable????

Once our school sent a note home requesting that ALL children come to school having had a 'proper' brakfast.
DS2 when questioned at school said he'd had rich tea biscuits.
I had a note sent home in his book bag about this!!!!
I was so angry- but stood my ground and explained that it was that or nothing- at that time....and the head actually asked me to 'keep it quiet' as if i might currupt the other parents!!!

Now thankfully...ds2 has 'SUGAR' frosted shreddies ...with extra sugar on top with quite a lot of milk (yet he still on't drink milk neat!!!)

Ds3 tends to alternate between dry cereal or bourbon biscuits....

ds3 eats no breakfast...no lunch (unless i send in jaffacakes or mars bars!!!) and cos of his adhd tabs is not ready to eat till 6pm. Really bothers me as at 14 he is shooting up and losing weight- looking like a skeleton...but paed assured me last month all is well. (however- i am weighing him weekly- and increasing his evening meal/adding more cheese etc to increase his calorie intake)

yes 2shoes...i'll start a thread tomorrow....where would be best???

behaviour? Chat? Food?

I'll wait till i've watched that tv programme that i'm dying to see...so will be after 10pm.

We should start a 'Stuff your kids with Jaffa Cakes' thread on the t'other board

honestly do they not have better things to do with their time than a breakfast interrogation. DS varies wildly - from nothing to healthy to junk for his breakfast.

go on seuss...i dare you!!!!!

tee hee...have to go in a minute but keep an eye out....

see you all tomorrow!!!

i will be waiting

Several posters were actually sympathetic of the OP on that thread; it didn't read as particularly heated to me.

Also, it was a question of what is reasonable for schools to offer NT children; nobody said they thought special arrangements shouldn't be made for children with sensory problems.

The OP's question was whether certain foods should be on the menu at all. IMO it would be a bit harsh to deny all children the chance to eat a mild curry, because there are children who find this difficult. The problem with that is, almost any food stuff could potentially cause problems for one child- I know children who gag at the sight of a jacket potato or a cheese sandwich.

What should be done instead is to have options- and this is what is normally done in the state sector. Also, I don't know any state schools that don't allow you to send in a packed lunch- so that cheese sandwich is usually an option.

The big problem for the OP was that it's a private school, so they have their own rules.

Ah, getting confused over two links. It was the second, the one linked by Mum23, that I thought not too bad. There were nasty posts in the one linked by Saggar (though not all of them).

Cory - you are right, there is no need to put a blanket ban on anything that isn't bland and tasteless and there is the option of a packed lunch (found it wierd that private school wouldn't allow a packed lunch but would allow quiche?!?) And any food is probably a risk to someone. I just took a bit of an objection to some of both threads cos like mum23 said they seemed to be making the person who needs help feel worse.(can't really remember which bits tbh it was hours ago now - perhaps I was just being oversensitive!)

one of the posters commented how the OP was giving her son his tea too late...

and as far as the fact it is a private school should make no difference. I cannot see why once a parent has queried the menu, why for example a jacket potato with cheese couldn't be offered...

if the child had food allergy problems...would the private school still insist they ate it??

THAT is what annoys me about THOSE threads... its as if everyone who's LUCKY enough to have kids who eat well cannot understand that there are MANY reasons for food refusal...Yes, there are fussy faddy eaters...but there are as i said allergies to consider and cultural differences ....

So, the school are worried he'll be envied by others eating 'his own food'...well, my friends son is a coeliac and HAS to have his own food as mum not 100% certain school would keep him gluten free...and school have accomadated his needs.

I hate it when people act like having a fussy eater is easy to put right, ds(nt) is fussy always has been. I have tried everything. but he is 16 and still fussy. dd who has sn will eat all the things on that other thread. ds wouldn't touch one.
it isn't easy to change. it started as most likely a attention thing when dd was small. have to say he is healthy and has no fillings though.

Surely if all the children envied the boy having his own food there must be something wrong with the school meals anyway! And why would they envy a packed lunch and not a quiche??? (Sorry getting a bit hung up on the quiche)

...when i mentioned " MANY reasons for food refusal...Yes, there are fussy faddy eaters...but there are as i said allergies to consider and cultural differences .... "
i forgot to include the one dear to my own heart- SENSORY issues.

And cory...when you said
"Also, it was a question of what is reasonable for schools to offer NT children; nobody said they thought special arrangements shouldn't be made for children with sensory problems. "

that hit a raw nerve with me, as if i had a choice my boys would not be in mainstream, but in a ASD specialist school...and one reason for that would be that at least then they would be able to EAT AT SCHOOL...as the school would not have to 'stick to government guidelines' regarding food- just as they don't follow the national curriculum.

They would be encouraged to try new foods- rewarded and praised...and given enough time to eat- whereas my son has only 30 mins to get to lunch hall- select his food (along with 500+ others)...and eat it (he can barely coordinate a knife and fork...and gone are the days when he could 'grab a burger' or "Snatch a sausage roll"...which he could do easily without cutlery.)
So he has given up eating at school as they are not allowed to wander round eating- so he is not keen to 'sneak 'food out of his bag as i suggested between lessons.

I hope cory that i am making sense...I've read alot of that OP messages on other boards, and her son sounds a sensitive soul- like mine...and what i posted on there was a result of me "reading between the lines" to see what he was like.

dd3(nt)will only eat sausages and strawberries at the moment....hoping she will grow out of it! Thought she might branch out a bit at playgroup snack-time but so far she has conned them into giving her a biscuit 3 sessions running!

Really feel for your boys suffering the mainstream lunch-time - my ds goes to a special school and like you say they make sure everyone eats and are even introducing a 'pack your own lunch' thing where children can try new foods.

Thanks seuss...so much about 'inclusion' is related to the 'curriculum' where kids with HFA /ASD's are concerned....

anyhow decided to sart THE thread i promised...NOW.... HERE IT IS