Late talker advice please - best approach

[lingle]

I've been thinking a lot about my son recently and would appreciate advice.

He's 2 years 9 months. Yesterday night I counted 215 words that he has(though that's a little generous as it includes 5 colours which he mixes up and 10 numbers which he can only say in sequence). His real problem is that we've only mastered one 2-word phrase so far (the addition of "more" before words) though we're pretty close to getting "where's [object]" as well (eg "where's doggy?"). So, he can't really join in chatting with the other little siblings in the school-yard. His understanding is definitely behind as well. He understands everything I'm saying to him but not long new sentences from strangers.

I went been to the drop-in speech therapy clinic that we have here a couple of months ago. They said "don't worry, at his age we still consider this normal, just come back in July so we can see how he is progressing".

Then I went through a stage of panicking alternating with being defensive where you suspect every condition under the sun one day and then chastise yourself for not having "faith" in your child the next. Something tells me many on this board will have been through this process so I don't need to explain it any more than that...

He's got a very good memory, his motor skills are good, he has always pointed, has good eye contact, shares our sense of humour, sings along to songs with his brother and me, joins in songs at nursery, behaves approrpiately at nursery, loves playing hide and seek or chase with other kids (he can only manage very physical games like this because of his lack of conversation). I don't think we are going to have an ASD diagnosis. He's wilful (at home),pushy (at home), has selective hearing when told to do something and protests changes to routine but in a very classic 2-year-old way (plus, frankly, I've spoilt him, but that's for another thread).

His big brother was also late to talk (but not quite as late as this I think) and is great now. His speech came together by 4 though it was still indistinct. Big brother's understanding was also late - just as bad as little brother's, I think.

I've read the posts about speech therapy on this board. The NHS system is clearly overstretched and so long as his slow progress continues I don't think we'll be high on any waiting list. So, given our family history, would I be better off just mastering a few techniques to encourage this 2-word phrase thing and taking a DIY approach? I'm self-employed so I can take a little time off work first thing in the morning (when we're both at our best). Do people think I should take him to a GP for a once-over first? I'm obviously not objective.... it's so hard to find the right balance here.....

thanks for reading.

hi linge. I cannot really relate to your story as my son has a GDD, he has a severe language delay (amongst other things).
But I do know how awful it is to worry and to want to help your child!!

Your son sounds wonderful! He seems to be doing really well.

I think you need to follow your instincts about contacting GP or not. However if you want to help him at home there is plenty you can do. There is a very good book called "It takes two to talk" which has plenty of ideas.

What I am doing with DS currently is "motivating" him to use 2/3 words through play. So for example: we start a tickling game, he needs to say "tickle +body part" to get a tickle, or I throw him on the bed and he needs to say "throw bed" for me to do it again, or if he wants a yogurt he needs to ask for "pink/yellow yogurt" to get one. But it is important not to force it too much, so just try 2 or 3 times and if he cannot do it he still gets what he wants.

Good luck!

Completely agree with two replies above. It does sound as though you are doing all the right things if your ds is starting to put two words together. He is doing fine.

Have a look at the single words he is using. Does he have a good range of action words e.g. run, jump, eat? If he is still adding to the list of single words he is using that will help him put even more words together.

Also, try to sit down and play games with him. Just talk to him about what he is doing using short, simple sentences. Looking at books together is also a good activity. Talk about the pictures, pointing things out to him. This will also help to develop his attention and listening skills.

try and get on the NHS waiting list anyway, so if things haven't improved much 6 months down the line, at least you will soon be seen, and then be able to access SALT department groups and courses.

Agree with both the other ladies. There is plenty of work you can do with him at home to work on his speech. The site I recommended was www.speechteach.co.uk. Also look at www.hanen.org (it's the website the produces the "It takes two to talk" book that is excellent, oodles of practical ideas. Look for it on ebay or on winslow publications website, not amazon.

if you are near a surestart children's centre they often run a basic hanen course to help you help your kid to communicate called "You make the difference". It's 9 X weekly sessions of 2 hrs IIRC.

As you feel he has difficulties understanding - keep language simple and back up what you say with gestures, photos etc. www.do2learn.com has lots of useful pictograms (PECs based) which may be useful to help communication. You might also want to look into signing - sing and sign dvds/something special programs on telly - as something to use to help speech develop the visual cues are helpful to kids who are having difficulties understand/retrieving the words alone.

Also - if you have £100 or so spare, may be worth seeing a private SALT who will do initial assessment and can provide you with a program of work with your boy, based on his individual level and needs.

If your eldest child was also a bit late and everything had normalised by age 4, plus the fact that your younger child socialises well, has a good memory and concentration... I, to be honest, would not be desperately concerned about it, as it sounds as though late development in that area is normal for your family. However, as others have said, it is always worth getting your child's name down on the waiting list asap, as the help does not arrive when you finally know you need it, it tends to arrive several months after that, and you can never be 100% certain there's nothing wrong until your child proves there's nothing wrong...

Fairly obvious question, but have you had his hearing tested? For example, he could have occasional bouts of glue ear, which would affect his hearing sufficiently to delay his language progress without necessarily affecting him all the time (glue ear can come and go and a lot of children get it for short periods during their childhood).

Are the words he says pretty clear or are they poorly pronounced? If the latter, could part of the problem be he is just later than most at co-ordinating all the speech sounds? My eldest son has low muscle tone and this delayed his ability to string several sounds together into words and sentences. However, since the only problem with his speech was his muscle tone, by age 3 he had developed his mouth muscles sufficiently to talk very clearly in perfect, grammatical sentences. He couldn't say more than about 20 individual words at 2 and 9 months, and those were often bizarre versions of the correct word, but he improved quite rapidly from then on, especially once I got him eating raw carrot and sucking from a straw (good exercise for the mouth)!!!

Thank you everyone. This is all really useful advice and I appreciate it.

I hadn't thought about hearing (duh)

And I like the idea of trying to get on the waiting list in case it turns out that we do have a problem....