DS is 3 years old, he is on the pathway for an autism assessment but I am very confident he is ND - my 6 year old has autism, ADHD and dyspraxia. DS(3) started nursery in September 2 days per week. At first he started doing just mornings (9:15-11:15, just 2 hours per day) and surprisingly settled in really well. He is a very anxious little boy so we expected tears but there were none. Nursery were planning on applying for inclusion funding straight away, but as he settled so well and didn’t need much additional support they said they wasn’t going to apply anymore.
Although he started doing just mornings, I work mon-weds 9:30-14:30. I reduced my hours and pay while he was just going in the mornings at nursery as we were gradually building up to him doing 9:15-14:45 (5.5 hours per day) which started after Christmas. This means that he has lunch at nursery whereas he didn’t before.
The first two weeks went fine, he ate some lunch and seemed ok. The last two days he’s been at nursery he has cried about lunch, refused to go in the lunch room and repeatedly asking for mummy. Generally more unsettled. Although it’s only been two days nursery seem to think he was better doing just mornings. I do agree, however I have a job where I need to be working 5 hours a day minimum. I promised my employer that as of January he would be going to nursery for a longer day, as prior to this I had to reduce my hours and also do some work with him at home. I work in a high pressure public sector role and spend a lot of the time on the phone. While I care about DS’s happiness so much, I also need to keep my job and if he carries on at nursery just 2 hours a day I will lose the job that I’ve done for the last 12 years. DH works away in the week, my parents are still working so I have no family to lean on for help.
I spoke to DS and he said he doesn’t like lunch time and it’s too busy and loud. Apparently all the children in the nursery sit together and it’s very chaotic (the words of his key worker). I asked nursery if there are any accommodations that could be made for DS at lunch time where he could eat somewhere quieter with support from staff. I didn’t get a direct answer but it doesn’t seem they’re willing to provide any other support for him and want me to bring him home. They suggested bringing him home for an hour at lunch then taking him back for the afternoon because other than at lunchtime he’s fine. Work wise this is impossible for me.
Sorry for the huge ramble, I guess what I’m asking is should nursery be doing more to make lunch time more bearable for DS or are they well within their rights to not provide any other alternatives or support for him? I just think it’s too much for him sat with 50 children in a room.
Just to add, he went to a childminder for 2 years, 9am-3pm. He went through phases of being happy/unhappy there but overall managed to cope.