DS is nearly 6. He is funny, kind, thoughtful, very clever, gives the best hugs, and is a whizz at maths, English and Lego. He also has zero impulse control, lots of sensory issues, an inability to keep even vaguely still unless he’s hyperfocusing on either Lego or colouring, will go an entire day without going to the loo because he doesn’t like it, and can go from calm to Hulk in less than a second, at which point he uses me, DH and DC1 as a punch bag and/or hurls things across the room.
His teacher (who is fab, so far) thinks he has ADHD; we agree, and think potentially actually AuDHD. There is a strong genetic tendency towards both conditions. We are consistent in dealing with his temper - we never let it go, if he’s properly raging we put him in his room until he calms down (not locked - we don’t even close the door, it’s just the only place he can’t chuck breakable stuff), we have had countless conversations about kind hands / hitting a cushion / counting to ten / breathing etc, we stay calm (most of the time - we are human!) and nothing works. He is ALWAYS remorseful afterwards, absolutely hates being told off, and I can clearly see he’s not doing it out of malice. He just cannot control his emotions.
If it were just at home it wouldn’t be so bad, but twice in the past week he has got into trouble at school for pushing / hitting other children, and he’s done it a couple of times last term too. It’s always his friends, and it’s always because of some perceived injustice - someone said something that wasn’t true, someone pushed in when it wasn’t their turn, etc. He was distraught tonight because his best friend has said he no longer wants to play with him. I’ve tried to explain before that nobody will want to play with him if he hurts them, and he always understands when he’s calm and gives all the right answers, but he just hasn’t gold hold of his temper. I’m so upset for him. Most of the time he’s a really lovely boy and his teacher says he’s well-liked, but I’m so worried he going to end up on his own.
It’s very early stages in terms of diagnosis, but both we and the school are pretty certain. If anyone has been in a similar situation and has any advice, I’d love to hear it.