Please or to access all these features

SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Would you prioritise friends or provision?

1 reply

Sprogonthetyne · 15/01/2026 13:20

DS is in year 4, autistic and probibly ADHD (to young to diagnose when he got his autism diagnosis, waiting on further assessment). He goes to an ARP, and spends 50% of the day in suport base and 50% in the mainstream class with 1:1.

Since the beginning of this school year he has really struggled with school and has developed quite bad anxiety, mostly around transitions or changes to the school routine and work (panics if he doesn't know an answer, then refusing to do work entirely, as that feels safer then getting it wrong). The school are pushing for a change of setting, saying that he needs somewhere more specialist where he can be in unit full time, which would make things more predictable and have a more tailored curriculum.

I kind of agree on the provision side, he is definitely not happy where he is, and isn't really progressing with his learning, however I also think more could be done where he is, especially since he is already in a small group unit so much of the time. TBH I haven't always been particularly impressed with how the school have managed things, so looking at provision alone I'd be happy to move.

My main reason for not moving him is that he has a wonderful group of friends in the mainstream class, and would be absolutely gutted to lose them. His time with them is one of the only positives he sees right now so I don't think cutting him off him from them will improve his meantal health or his engagement with school (were close to school refusal & seeing them at playtime is what gets him in). If he were to move it is unlikely to be before September, so he would only have two years in the new setting before secondary, so would be only just establishing a new friendship group before moving again.

OP posts:
2x4greenbrick · 16/01/2026 15:38

I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer.

My worry would be as DS continues to move through KS2, the demands and expectations academically, socially and emotionally increase. That may influence DS’s current friendships anyway, especially if DS’s difficulties attending increase because of the increased demands.

Even if DS moves, you could try to keep the friendships going out of school.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page