Relentless squeezing stim

[Ellebel]

My three year old has always been very squeezy and as time has gone on and I’ve better educated myself I realise this is him stimming. School have flagged that his emotional dysregulation is more reflective of a two year old than three year old, and he is very hyper, endless energy, maybe just because he’s a three year old boy but comparatively to friends children of similar age he really is relentless. Maybe it makes me a bad mum but I dream of him occasionally being able to sit and watch something for 15mins rather endlessly bouncing off the walls. I suspect ADHD but I am no expert and he is still very young.

My question is does anyone have any advice on how to help with the squeezing as it is literally none stop all day long, painful and mainly effecting me and his 10 month old brother. I’m told to look for triggers but it happens from the second he wakes to the second he goes to bed so hard to pinpoint anything, he just squeezes our hands none stop. Things I have tried that don’t work:
Squeezy balls everywhere
Weighted blanket
Trampoline in garden
Fidget toys
Endless park trips to release energy, lots of swings, roundabout etc
Explaining constantly he can’t squeeze his baby brothers hand, or anyone’s ideally.
Aside from the squeezing and emotional dysregulation he is very bright, hilariously funny, affectionate and often very kind. I just hope that I can somehow find ways that actually help alleviate his desire to squeeze, and feel terrible about the state of his poor baby brothers relentless squeezed tiny hands. Many thanks

My non verbal 4YO pinches as a stim. It can be really painful so I understand how you feel. I’m sorry though I have no advice. We just try and say gentle hands and hope it’s a phase he’s out of soon…

Has DS had a sensory OT assessment?

Some find a cuddle ball &/or a bodysok helps to fulfil the need for squeezing input. Not everyone has room for it, but if you do, some find a steamroller good for DC who crave the squeezing sensation.

What support is DS receiving? Some find stims worsen when wider needs aren’t met, DC are otherwise dysregulated &/or anxious.

Do you have any support to help provide a higher level of supervision when DS1 is around DS2? It is worth checking if Home Start operates in your area. It is really hard when DC need that level of supervision. For many years, DS1 needed within arm’s reach care 24/7. It was exhausting.

Thank you for your responses @Magicmushroomsauce it’s so tough isn’t it, ours is pinching and squeezing, our hands are in bits! @2x4greenbrick ive ordered a bodysock! Fingers crossed. Did things eventually get easier for you? His preschool have said talk to the GP and his GP has said speak to the school, not very helpful so we’re in no mans land with it all. Assuming more help will be available when he’s a bit older and can be officially diagnosed. Also hoping to save up for some private OT sessions but all very expensive.

Things have become different. Some things have improved and some haven’t. DS1 no longer needs within arm’s reach care 24/7, but there are still times he does. But we have far more help and support in place now, which helps.

It won’t help protect DS2 or your fingers, but have you seen the protective sleeves you can get? They are primarily aimed at carers of biters (DS1 is also a biter) but can protect your arms from pinching too.

With a few exceptions, such as some ASD specialist schools, the majority of support is based on needs, not diagnosis.

Speak to the preschool. They should be supporting you. What support are they providing? What have they already tried? If they need more advice on how to support DS, have they asked the Area SENCO for advice? What about the specialist teaching service if your LA still has them? Have they applied for early years inclusion funding? If DS is in receipt of DLA, is the preschool receiving disability access funding?

Go back to the GP. They should not be fobbing you off. Is there a different GP in the practice you could speak to? Complain if they don’t listen.

Also speak to the HV. They can refer to paeds if DS hasn’t already been referred.

Has an EHCNA been requested? If not, do that yourself using IPSEA’s model letter. OT can be included in an EHCP.

Lots of questions. Don’t feel you have to answer them all here. Just things to think about.

He wants to squeeze you or he wants to be squeezed?

A thunder vest / compression vest could work well if he likes being squished.

If he likes to squish things, try sensory putty or stress balls or those pop it things. Frozen teethers to chew and hold can also be good - just cheap ones from Boots etc.

It might be he is also looking for more gross motor input in general so you could look at anything which enables you to spend more time outdoors (better weather clothing?) or more "active" toys indoors e.g. squeaky hopper thing (can remove squeaker!), sensory swing if you can attach to a solid ceiling beam, those foam stepping stones, a play couch, balance board, pop up tunnel.

I appreciate a lot of these things aren't cheap. Decathlon and Ikea have some really good things like this for not as much money as other places, and I've seen a good ballet/gymnastics bar in Smyths which folds up for storage.

Agree if you can afford a private OT consultation with the aim of identifying a sensory profile and sensory diet, this might be worth looking at. Beware of the ones talking about retained primitive reflexes though, this is a bit of a trend at the moment but it's not evidence based unlike sensory processing, which has quite a lot of evidence behind it. I know some people do have good results with the retained reflexes thing, but since the evidence for it is much more patchy personally I'd want to put my money into the thing which is established, and leave that kind of thing as more of a last resort if the established ideas aren't helping.

@2x4greenbrick thank you so much for taking the time to reply with all this helpful info. My son returned to pre school this week post hols and I’ve spoken to his teacher and said I need more advice and support. They’ve decided to apply for an EYIF for him which I guess is good progress. I’m also going to contact the health visitor.
@BertieBotts have lots of stressballs but sensory putty is being added to the list! I actually got him those foam stepping stones for Christmas but haven’t used yet so will definitely get those out on the weekend. And very interesting RE OT I will definitely keep that in mind.
It seems his squeezing is suddenly much improved this week, now he’s back at school. During the holidays we try so hard to keep him entertained, soft play, playground, lots of roll play, museums etc but it seems the routine of school and being continuously active/ surrounded by other children really seems to regulate him. It probably also helps that he’s not spending so much time with his baby brother…
Thanks again for such helpful responses x

As well as early years inclusion funding, you should request an EHCNA.

If DS receives DLA, is the nursery also receiving disability access funding?