I'm probably being paranoid, but how do I know when younger sibling is NT or also delayed?

[BriocheDoree]

DD has just turned four and has SLD/neuro-developmental delay. We didn't pick it up until she was nearly three and a half. She's making good progress with the speech therapy but gets no behavioural therapy so is pretty hard work at times. She has a younger brother who is 11 months. He seems to be behind her at the same age. The thing that is worrying me is that he uses hardly any gestures: doesn't clap, doesn't wave, doesn't point. DD never waved, but she did clap and point much earlier than DS. I KNOW you shouldn't compare children, and I KNOW that there's no point in worrying about this, but if there IS a problem, I want to pick it up more quickly this time. For those of you whose older and younger children all have developmental delays, when did you realise that the younger ones were similarly affected. Can someone reassure me that I'm just being paranoid? I'm sure everyone whose older child has SN constantly scrutinises the second one for similar problems!

Thanks, TC. Think I'm just finding new things to stress about because I've just moved house and everything's up in the air (or in boxes!). Actually DD is doing really WELL at the moment!! She's learnt to put her shoes on herself, and today she got a late birthday present from a friend and when prompted to say thank you, actually looked at him, smiled and did so! (This is a first!) Anyway, DS has a dev. check at 12 mos here, so I guess I'll just chat to the paediatrician about it. She knows DD pretty well so she'll know what my concerns are.
BTW loved the fact you called me Brio on another post somewhere as that's what both of mine are mainly doing at the moment. We've got the wooden trains out and DD and DS both love it!

11 months is definitely very very early indeed as regards pointing - I think the late limit of "normal" pointing is 18 months. Don't know about the clapping and waving but this site:

www.kidsdevelopment.co.uk/SpeechLanguageDelayChildren.html

suggests that clapping and waving are in the 12-18 month range too.

I think it's too soon to worry, just keep an eye on things. Brio rules here too !

Thanks, ladies. I think I must have been paying too much attention to those babycentre development charts again!

I was paranoid about ds2 and ds3. I set myself a target of pointing by 18 months. If they weren't doing that they were going to be referred (and I told the HV). Both did that.

And I never read any 'what your baby should be doing' emails.