Anyone else struggling with other people's children growing up?

[elliejjtiny]

Not so much growing up but getting more grown up presents. All the dc got the presents they liked. But it really got me for some reason that my nieces are now getting really grown up presents now and my dc aren't. My 11 year old got lots of toddler toys and my niece the same age got jewellery etc.

I find this really difficult aswell. 3 of my best friends have daughters the same age as mine and I find it really difficult to have conversations with them about holidays now for reasons like this.

Same and it's really tough. My son has 3 cousins born within the same year, all boys, and I thought they would all be playing together but my son has disabilities and it's just not the case.

Thank you. I am thankful that we have boys and the cousins are girls. Mil doesn't help by saying "look at X, (aged 9) she's like a teenager already" when my 11 year old is playing with his toys that say "suitable from 12 months" in big letters on the box.

It is hard when the developmental gap widens as DC get older.

Although I’m not sure a 9y/o being like a teenager already is necessarily a good thing either.

Maybe I'm not the best person to answer as mine are very high functioning? But to be honest I always loved that mine stayed children for longer than others their age. So this never has bothered me at all.

I do understand where you are coming from though and I have had those kind of emotions - but more so when other DC are in school plays / sporting teams etc and I know mine would love that but just don't have the maturity to do those things.

My daughters are 14 and they got lego, funko pops and other bits and bobs. I did get them a few smelly stuff but they're not really into them. It does make shopping for them more difficult but I'm also quite pleased that their not into all the grown up stuff yet like make up, fake tan etc.

And their mum is probably sad and missing the days that hers were into the more babyish things. My youngest is 7 and an advanced reader so I feel so sad that we're now past Julia Donaldson books.... I also saw a roast chicken wooden toy in Tiger that you can take the legs off to serve them.. and she's too "old" for all that.

But then my eldest children are 21 and 19 and got a little toy Henry vacuum and rubber ducks🤣🤣🤣

Stop comparing to others and get your children the sort of thing they actually want for Christmas.... And never wish for the teenage years.... It'll come too soon as it is.

I think it’s quite normal for young girls to start to like more grown up presents around that age. I was always quite young and innocent growing up, but by 11 I would have liked jewellery/ toiletries/ cds. I think the main difference is I was happy with a necklace from Argos and Miss Sporty make up - I do find it crazy when I hear of young girls asking for make up and skincare products that are £40/£50 each.

Edited to say sorry, I didnt realise this was on the SN board - I get what you mean now and my above comment is irrelevant!

I have girls. One who is newly at secondary school who is Audhd. All of her 'friends' are into make up, tiktok and expensive skin care ranges... I can hardly get mine to wash her face with water 🤦. She's absolutely not interested in any of the things the girls in her class are. I feel sad for the other girls though to be fair, who the hell needs a full skin care routine at 11/12. Just a basic face wash to get rid of the oily skin would suffice. I'm glad my little girl doesn't wear make up or bother with skin care stuff. She still plays games and asks for fidget toys. They are still really young and don't need any of the above.

Your child will flourish in other ways and there is no rush to have them grow up. Enjoy the years you have where they still find joy in smaller things 🥰