Untitled

[FlyMeToTheMoonAndLetMePlay]

My child is autistic (age 3) and loves all things with wheels and so I buy him things with wheels (cars hoover,pushchairs,bike etc) as this makes him happy.
My mum said that if I restricted his play with these things and did not buy him any more he may be less obsessed with them.
I have bought him other toys and he has a younger and an older sibling whose toys he has access to. I make time to do sticker books and reading, play games etc but he has a natural draw to the things he likes(as does everybody surely?)and prefers to do them on his own.
Should I 'hide'his wheeley things away for a while providing it does not cause too much distress or should I just let him play with what he wants?
Sorry for namechange but didnt want this to be a row with mum if she searched my posts. Thanks

If you can remove his wheeled toys for a short while each day/week/whatever without causing distress, then I would.

Dd1 is nearly 4, and also autistic. she is obsessed with books, and has previously been obsessed wiht balls.

when she was little, she would only play with balls, but I still made a point of playing with other toys in front of her, and she slowly took an interest (very slowly!)

It sounds as though you are trying to widen his interests anyway, with sticker books etc, so i wouldn't worry too much.

Carry on as you are, and if you find that he is not interested in anyhting else because he as his wheeled toys, and you can hide the wheelies to get him interested (obv doesn't work if he gets upset) then i would for a short while. Nothing wrong with him being happy with wheeled things, but nice for him to have a range of tastes too.

My ds is 9 with AS, and has made a lot of progress behaviourally and socially in the past couple of years. Despite the view from most of the professionals we encountered that he was highly able, the most effective strategy for us was to assume his autism was more severe and taking him back to his comfort zone, as far as possible, and finding out exactly what he could cope with without too much adult intervention. That's when we realised how much sensory issues affected him, and how strong his obsessional interests were. We then started to gradually ease him out and taught him how to cope with things he wouldn't have managed before.

We've used his obsessions to mutual advantage. They work well as incentives to encourage J to make progress, and on a daily basis to help him cooperate with tasks. Reward strategies are much more effective when the child is working for something they really, really want, rather than a boring old sticker.

Your boy is still very young and for now I'd say let him have his obsession. When he's a bit older you can start to move him out of his comfort zone by helping him to accept other interests, but in one so young you could end up making more problems because he'll probably not be able to handle it yet.

There is a lot of scope for development in an interest like wheels. Eg using cars and speeds as a theme for volume control when talking (0 mph is stop or silence, 20 mph normal talking voice, 100 mph shouting voice and too loud) etc.

You can easily compromise between his narrow range of interests and extending him developmentally, but it has to be when the time is right so don't rush him.

Both sides of the coin, thanks to you both for answering me

You mean we're not supposed to get fixated on things with wheels? Oh my! (my interest in cars continues well into my 40s and has come in very handy for car fleet matters at work). Encourage interest in other things, but I would say respect his need to cope with the world by focusing on his favourites when he needs to. Please don't just take them away. His 'world' is very likely to be you and those toys. Take them away and his whole world will be altered. It's actually a really, really frightening experience for us.

I don't think you can or should try to break the fixation altogther - esp as you say you can limit it by changing the activity to books. My DS1 is obsessed by helicopters and if all else fails, he will put his arms out straight and 'pretend' to be a helicopter himself without any props at all ! Try to gradually increase time away from the current obsession?

I once had this said to me by my SIL who hinted that letting my ds play constantly with Tom The Tank would cuase problems as he grew up out the age appropriate for such things!

I was unable to argue my point- and was only later that i thought how her son loves football and is always playing/talking/watching etc football.

and noone bats an eyelid.

yet 'our' children obsess in a 'different' way and it gets commented on.

So, for me....I have long since accepted that my boys obsessions are part of them- and to take it away would be like removing part of them.

however...I am diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder....so am a bit biased!!!

what i have learnt regarding my OCD is that the important thing about ANY behaviour...appropriate,inappropriate, obessive or different...is whether it is safe- and secondly does it have a negative impact on self or others.

This is a good way to look at an autistic persons obbsessions....if what they 'need' to do hurts them or others...then we'd 'obviously' have to stop them.

Also.... FlyMeToTheMoon ..... do you feel that you are 'controlled' by his obsessions??? at times i feel very controlled by them! I find i am actively alert and looking at all times for something that will interest my boys...i often feel that I feed their habit!!!! mostly i get it right....but once when ds2 was about 8 and was obsessive about pokemon... i was chuffed to bits to find him a pokemon wallet. He threw it across the room and told me that 'just cos i like pokemon, it doesn't mean i like pokemon wallets'

so.... to summarise....ignore your friend!

your son is only 3- i never thought ds2 would ever stop requesting that i call him percy or Gordon Train at the top of my voice....and imagined him only ever playing with trains...however he has moved on...i find with my boys that they do now transfer from one interest to another- and the worst times at home are when they are 'in between' and they are therefore out of their comfort zone.

oops....it was your mum...not so easy to ignore!!!

i will give it some more thought!!!