Year 7 with ASD – our family’s experience of mainstream

[nklb]

Posting this in case it’s useful for anyone with an autistic child starting secondary. Not complaining just sharing what our Year 7 experience looked like, because I didn’t realise how quickly things can escalate in a busy mainstream setting.

Our son (ASD, EHCP) started Y7 in a large mainstream secondary last September. At primary (also mainstream) he had good 1:1 support and things were mostly stable, so we hoped he would manage with the right adjustments. What I didn’t fully appreciate at the time is just how complex ASD can be in a fast-paced secondary environment — transitions, different teachers, crowds, sensory overload, social misunderstandings and simply being “different”. It all stacked up.

The school (and maybe many secondaries) used an automatic behaviour-points-to-detention system. It was designed for a big cohort and applied in the same way to every child. For our son, it quickly placed him among the statistically “worst-behaved” students. Some behaviours may have been intentionally “naughty”, but others were definitely due to ASD showing up in real life. The automated system couldn’t recognise that, so the detentions and sanctions kept stacking up.

He was taken out of class almost daily due to emotional meltdowns, struggling to follow instructions and becoming overwhelmed. He was also banned from the canteen because queuing and busy spaces were too much for him.

Trips became one of the hardest areas. He was excluded from an outdoor trip because staff felt he would struggle to follow instructions, even though this had never been an issue during his primary years. Later in the year he was told he could only attend trips if a parent accompanied him. The school’s response tended to be exclusion rather than adjustment.

By the summer term, everyone (including the school) could see that mainstream just wasn’t the right environment for him. The routines, the constant transitions, the pressure to keep up socially — he was overwhelmed almost every day. He’s now moved to a specialist school and things are slowly getting better, though the negative impact from the previous school will take time to fade.

We are going through the SEND Tribunal process regarding some of what happened, but I’m not posting this to discuss that. It’s simply to share our experience. ASD is a complex need — on one hand, many of his “behaviour issues” were actually ASD-related stress responses; on the other, this is also the real world he’ll be facing as he grows up.

I can only hope that schools are more cautious when admitting a student whose needs they may struggle to support, and that more adjustments can be made rather than defaulting to exclusion. Most of all, I hope that over time he becomes more skilled, supported and prepared for adult life.

Our child has been excluded from the Sen special school. He just has tutors / to get better support look into home education- ours was and is simply bored rigid by the Sen school treating him as though he cannot do anything- look at what they are doing? Is it actually interesting?

I'm dreading it to be honest. We know that secondary school can be a transition that's too much for many. They're no better at managing adhd in our experience. Behaviour policies that penalise kids with notoriously iffy executive skills mean not a week goes by without our 15yo getting a behaviour point and a detention for missed homework, forgotten books and equipment, and rocking on his chair/ reacting impulsively having something like a pen thrown at him. Why on earth do schools penalise kids who struggle to sit still and focus by making them stay in at break and lunch so they have to sit still for even long and miss a vital movement opportunity?! It's utterly madness. Get them picking litter, supervising younger ones or whatever instead!

9yo dd is on the asd assessment pathway, currently burnt out because her teachers don't understand her and therefore aren't meeting her needs. She's not disruptive, is bright, well behaved, polite and so she flies under their radar, until she breaks. She was blessed with great teachers in Y2 and 3 which made such a positive difference to her. But it's the luck of the draw isn't it? We're trying hard to prepare her for secondary, but honestly, we're worried.