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SN children

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Original poster

Booked a holiday without ds1 - tell me I'm not mean!

64 replies

Jimjams · 23/01/2005 12:28

Some people's reactions are making me feel a bit guilty....

it's 20 miles down the road from home for a week- during school term- mum and dad are moving into our house whilst we're away. They'll bring him to visit at the weekend.

We're doing it mainly for ds2- otherwise he can't get to do any normal stuff at all. I mean he's 3 now, we live within minutes of the sea and he's never been to the beach for the day (he's been for a walk on the beach but never done the bucket and spade stuff). Someone asked me the other day whether he liked ice cream cones and I had no idea.... it will give us a break as well of course- looking after ds2 and ds3 is a doddle tbh.

Also ds1 hates going away- he freaks - won't go to bed and won't eat. He'll be much happier going to school and at home.

We're not going anywhere else this year.....

Some people have looked really surprised then kind of dubious when I've explained the reasons.

OP posts:

Furball · 23/01/2005 21:01

I was hoping that this thread was started by you Jimjams. Sounds good. It'll be great for your DS2 to have some good quality time with his mummy and daddy as well. Don't feel guilty, your DS1 will be happier at home in his usual routine etc. And, it's not like you're too far away to pop back and see him if he does need you. Like others have said, you deserve a break, you always seem to have soooo much on your plate.

binkie · 23/01/2005 21:14

we need a "bless" emoticon for ds2!

have a lovely time - you aren't being mean at all

Merlot · 23/01/2005 21:39

Have a lovely time Please dont feel guilty as it might spoil your time with ds2 and ds3. Sounds like Ds1 will be much happier with your lovely folks and in his normal routine.

ThomCat · 23/01/2005 22:15

I don't think you're being mean at all, I think it makes perfect sense, everyone's a winner as I see it. Stuff anyone who can't see that, you know you're doing it for all the right reasons. Good on you. Enjoy your well deserved break.

galaxy · 23/01/2005 22:17

You're not mean. You're deserving and so are your kids. Enjoy yourself and I'm sure ds will have a lovely time with his g/parents.

eidsvold · 23/01/2005 23:39

GO and enjoy - quality time with the other members of the family - ds2, ds3 and dh. Enjoy the break. As others have said - ds1 will be much happier at home with his grandparents. You have had a stressful time of late - new babe, new school for ds1 and the simple day to day life with ds1.....

let ds2 be a kid playing at the beach with his bucket and spade, eating ice cream cones and everything else that comes with it. Enjoy some focused time with ds3 too.

As for everyone else whois surprised and dubious - tell them to go jump..... until they live your life for a day how the hell can they possibly understand you and your decisions.

mears · 23/01/2005 23:47

Agree with everyone else Jimjams - go and enjoy yourselves. DS1 wouldn't enjoy it and you are doing the best you can for all your children. I am sure your DH could do with a little more time eith you too

pixel · 24/01/2005 00:17

Definately NOT mean! Even if both your children were nt they would do different activities and have different interests as they grew up. It would always be a bit of a juggling act trying to meet all their needs, that's how it works when you have more than one child. There's no need to feel guilty that in this instance it's ds2's turn for a bit of extra attention.

I hope you ALL have a wonderful time!

ediemay · 24/01/2005 02:00

sorry to jump in but just wanted to say that I think this is the absolute opposite of mean: you are taking everyone's feelings and happiness into account and this to me seems very generous. I don't know if this is any help but a pal of mine is a single mum to 3 and makes a special effort every year to take each child for a short break without the other 2 ( her Mum helps out) so they can have their own 1 to 1 time. I really hope you all have a lovely time and I bet your parents can't wait.

JaysMum · 24/01/2005 09:39

Jim Jams we did the same thing last year and only stayed 2 miles away from home!!!!
Our oldest was desperate to go camping and there was no way J would sleep under a piece of material, so we got my sis to come down for a long weekend to look after J and we tottled off for a camping break....it was ace fun and our boy loved it....
J on the other hand thought we were raving mad to want to go and sleep in a field under!!!

Little did he know it was the first time in ages I had gotten any sleep and I would have slept naked on top of Nelsons coloumn!!!

Blu · 24/01/2005 11:00

Oh JimJams - when I saw the title of this thread, I was hoping it would be you!
Spend the time with DS2 - it's the right thing to do - and you have answered all your own nagglings about why DS1 would be happier at home.
You need it, DS2 must need it by now, and it is a wonderful way for your Mum and Dad to give you something very valuable.

And then do it more often!

leglebegle · 24/01/2005 11:16

No you are not mean. Enjoy yourself!

JakB · 24/01/2005 14:23

Jimjams, I've got one picture of dd and ds together- strapped in a double buggy!!!
at ds2 saying, 'can I hold my baby mummy'. Bless, bless, bless...
I guess we just have to readjust our concept of 'family' memories. I'm sure you will have a brilliant time- and so will ds1 with your mum and dad.

anniebear · 24/01/2005 20:46

Good for you, I hope you have a great time.

The people who make the negative comments obviously haven't a clue what it can be like looking after a child with SN

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