I’m burnt out

[Hesxboon]

I think I’m depressed and burnt out. I have one child and she constantly wants to touch me, pinch my face, stroke my arms, squeezing my elbows / nose / knees. I think it’s sensory related but she just doesn’t leave me alone. I’m normally a really affectionate mother and always have been, she’s turned 5 recently and she just doesn’t leave me alone. I can be in a different room and if she can’t be near me she will scream the house down. Dad works two jobs and I’m a sahm, she’s not in school full time as she’s high care needs autistic and her ehcp is just been drafted. I feel awful but I can’t take anymore of it. It feels like she controls my whole life. I can’t even brush my teeth without being hand leaded somewhere else or screaming because she wants to touch my face or jump on me. She destroys and makes so much mess it’s ridiculous I’ve tried everything. I feel like running away for peace

Has DD had OT assessments? Including a home OT assessment and a sensory OT assessment. Does she have ongoing provision? Do you have any sensory equipment? Some people find the book the Out of Sync Child helpful.

Have you had social care assessments? A carer’s assessment and an assessment of DD’s needs. Also, have a look at your local short breaks offer.

For the noise, have you tried noise cancelling headphones or ear phones?

Some parents find counselling &/or antidepressants help.

What support is DD receiving in school?

I also have a high needs autistic child same age. DS has lots of sensory toys and they do actually help him. I try and give him a rubber duck to stop him biting us as he hates chew necklaces.
Sometimes i extend his bath for ages gives him a bit of relax sensory time.
I take him out all the time for walks and stuff with the intention of tiring him out and it kind of works. Sometimes he needs reins mostly he holds my hand fine. He likes playgrounds - used to like swings but now it's all about slides.
He has AAC , makaton and ALD for communicating - all hit and miss.
We do have days where I feel like all I do is say no and end up shouting which means absolutely nothing to him. Today he's : broken his bed, spat juice all over the floor multiple times, attempted to bite me multiple times, trashed several books, eaten about 20 leaves, threw Lego all over the floor about 100 times in a rage, bitten the sofa twice, tried to roll a plate around the floor, tried to upend his elderly grandma's humidifier to get the water out. These are the only things I can think of.
We do have good days where he sits there like an angel building Lego and train tracks and watching TV shows but today is not that day!