5 year old suspected as, told me today....

[deeeja]

He told me he wanted to die, I was shocked but asked him why. He didn't explain why, just said he didn't want to live anymore. I am beside myself, and I don't know what to do.
I know he had a bad day at school, and apparently he spilt paint and water everywhere. He doesn't like the lsa that was assistig in his class today, apparently everytime he asks her to help him she says no in a nasty voice.
My 5 year old has suspected asperger's, and is highly sensitive to touch, noise, and other things, like movement. He also has hallucinations and problems with reality/fantasy.
He keeps on saying 'I am horrible and no-one likes me'.
I am so worried about him, I hate his damn school, Iw ish I could just keep him off school.
School action, what a pile of poo!

Poor you Deeja. You are up late. Worrying I guess. I am in NZ so its daytime here. Just wanted you to know someone is there! Knowing they are having a hard time is just the worst isn't it.

What have you tried with the school so far? Teacher? SENCO? Head teacher?
Would the local autism charity help you with the school, and would they know of a good AS child counsellor or similar who can talk with your son and help him and you through this? The poor little lad - he's trying to cope with so much in there and they don't sound as though they're making it possible for him.
If he's really upset about going into school, perhaps a day off to take him to the doctors and get it registered how upset he is and what he's been saying? Medical records can sometimes help when you need schools to act?

Can't add anything to Amber's suggestions, just lots of hugs.

Hi deeeja,

Im so sorry, you must devastated

I guess from you post the you lad is just on school action? at this point the school should be getting the ed psyc in sharpish !!

Where abouts are you in his assessment? i think the best proffessional to help you here would be a clinical psyc, have you seen one yet? get intouch with his pead and see what they have to say.

I really hope that you kept him off today.

def ed psych assessment - push for him to be moved to school action plus and ask for advice to be sought from ed psych due to his emotional fragility.

do see gp or paed and ask for it to be put on med docs - gp might write to school/ LEA and request ed psych assessment for you, the only thing our paed does is write to the LEA...

this will help in the future if you become more concerned and need a CAMHS referral, as evidence of an ongoing issue.

Just to let you know that I have been in the same situation as you. When DS2 was in P1, he found life v. hard (we were only beginning to suspect that he had AS), he said that he wanted to die , nothing has ever been so hard for me to deal with. I realised that he was depressed, ie. sleeping badly, off his food, v. tired, not interested in anything. I got a referal to CAMHS from the GP (I didn't use it in the end becuase the school holidays sorted him out, but he has seen them since for other issues and they can be useful).
I persuaded school that he sometimes needed a "mental health" day off and I kept him at home on the odd day (only 3/4 times in the end), this helped as he felt i would listen when he felt he needed a rest.
I too was v. tempted to home-ed him but decided to hang in there and after three years he is coping much better, sometimes says he likes school and never says he wants to die, he is also getting better at friendship and for this reason alone I am glad I kept him in school.
Having siad that he often goes downhill at the end of term, sheer tiredness combined with a different routine and takes a wee while to get back into things after the holidays.
Go and see your GP and hang on in there, get the school to send for the ed-psych, but don't panic, this might be the worst it ever gets, and if you can survive the worst you will be able to deal with anything.

I don't have any advice but couldn't read your thread and not post.

Thankyou everyone for posting, some great advice, am feeling alot more able to cope today. I let ds stay home today, and he has seemed quite tired, he also has even eaten less than normal. But, he did go to bed with a smile on his face and asking me what we would do tomorrow. He says he wants to go out, which is just fantastic
I also went to see his HT(also the senco) today, and have arranged a meeting for Monday. I told him that my ds was so upset yesterday that he talked about death, he said he would speak with ed psych, but I think I will have to push this a bit harder. I also complained about lsa, he seems to think my ds has a problem with perception, I told him to know when someone refuses to help you is not problems with perception, my ds does understand the word no.
Then he went on an on about how bright my ds is, blah blah blah, meeting on Monday!
LWhat is the point of my ds being bright if he feels so depressed, so upset, that he talks about death and can't handle any changes, prefers to stay at home more and more, and explodes when he gets home due to the pressures of having to conform at school.
These people just drive me nuts.
I feel as though I have reached saturation point. I have sorted my 3 year old's statement out, nearly, but wow what a headache that was! Still not quantified the provision properly. I am waiting to hear about appeal for dla aswell. I thought my 3 year old's asd diagnosis was the hardest bit (naive, moi?)
Officials, red tape, grrrrrrr makes me mad
Then my poor little 5 year old, who I nearly forgot about in the all the fuss about his brother. I was looking at his baby pictures today, and you know he hasn't changed a bit, still got those huge eyes looking up at me. [teary ].
He went to bed today, feeling happy, that is the best end to the day.

So glad you and your DS have had a better day .

The system make you sick doesnt it !! he so clever......so thats ok then NOT.

My DD (also 5 and has AS) has recently been turned down for a SEN assessment, basically amongst other reasons because shes clever. While in the meantime she spent the entire afternoon yesterday and today studying a number chart on the classroom wall but this is ok!! cos according to her teacher shes no trouble .

Just a message of support from me.

DS who is now 9 has AS and has talked about wanting to die/killing himself since Reception. It always comes at a time when he is feeling particularly bad about himself and his self esteem, never particularly high, is rock bottom. I always make sure that school know when he is saying these things so they can back off a bit as it is usually their fault. DS is bright too, but it doesn't make them any more capable of surviving in a mainstream environment without help does it? Schools forget this.

We currently see the child psych at CAMHS and this is helping a bit, but it is early days so don't know where it is going IYSWIM. We got our referral through the paed at the child development centre and would say that don't just rely on school and the EP as tha is usually a long winded process and in our experience the EP has n ot helped with this particular issue at all other than recognise it.

I know how upsetting it is when your darling boy says these things, and I suffer with this all the time, it so hard to hear your baby hurting about themselves in this way.

We also keep DS away from school when we think that he is just too vulnerable and I see nothing wrong with it, if it bolsters their self worth/value then it should be done IMO. I also spend more time with him, and make him feel special and let him do stuff he really enjoys to give him a 'win' in terms of being a good boy and getting lots of praise for it. I don't go over the behaviour/happening that has led up to this as I find it just makes it worse for him.

The end of the school year is always a toughie as other have said cos he is tired and just not as able to cope with life. The summer holiday is our time to really bolster his ego and make him relaxed enough to not talk like this until at least nearly christmas - which for us is a good long period.

I hope that things start to improve soon for you and DS. But make sure you get lots of support for you too and time to just relax. It is really draining emotionally and you need to be at the top of your game to deal with it.

Love and best wishes. WM xxxx