3 year old with severe social anxiety

[KayleighShaun13]

Hello all, I am facing a very stressful dilemma before I discuss I will share a little bit of background information. I am a mum of 5 (13 ASD, 11, 10 ASD, 7 and 3).

I am extremely concerned for my 3 year old daughter as she will not engage socially with anybody outside of home even with extended family. We can't take her into other peoples houses without a massive meltdown and same with people coming to our home or even travel with us in our car its all just emotionally and physically overwhelming and exhausting. A hospital visit for fever ended up looking like a murder scene as her heart rate was so high from being so stressed out the nurses and doctors thought something more sinister was going on.

Our local shop always tries to win her over by giving her lollipops, chocolates and even a £10 teddy once but she will not engage or interact with them at all and we have gone there all her life! She just wont look at them or if the interaction is too intense with them calling her name ect she will refuse to go inside.

Local park visits are stressful and dangerous especially if she's alone (other children at school). If she's playing on the slide and another child even touches any part of the frame she will find the first exit point and throw herself off, thankfully we stick to the lower ones and I have always managed to catch her. When she is with my other children she is completely different like they are her protection shield.

I am unemployed due to raising my children and now have been enrolled on a scheme called restart that is trying to help me back into work which I would absolutely love as the universal credit I am living on is not enough and has caused me to get into debt, I just feel like I am stuck! We are on the waiting list for speech and language therapy, referred to paediatrician for ASD assessment was rejected from GP as no nursery evidence to back up which is infuriating as I have 2 diagnosed children already! She needs some interventions but where or how I don't know.

Has anybody else had similar experiences? Thanks for reading.

I would request another referral to paeds. If refused again, complain.

Does DD go to nursery and they aren’t supportive or does she not go? Have you looked at an EHCP?

Depending on your area, if Portage exists and they accept new referrals for 3y/o’s, has DD been referred?

Some areas have specialist HV teams who might be able to help advocate with paeds.

Are you receiving DLA for your older DC with ASD and DD?

Thank you for your reply, no she is not in nursery as of yet terrified to send her as previously worked in private nurseries and haven't found the right one for her, also carrying guilt for my other daughter that is diagnosed as she was selective mute and broke my heart when I realised her needs wasn't being met as she wouldn't speak up and the school wasn't supportive so she was just left.

Yes I am getting DLA for one of them but not the other as the review came between schools and couldn't find support also his needs are not that great anymore and he attends police cadets and wants to be a police officer in the future so I wouldn't want to hinder his chances.

Since I posted I managed to take her to drop in speech and language who have accepted her but 18+ week wait which isn't too bad, they also did referral for PEADS that have now also accepted but 100+ weeks wait! By this time she will be in reception. Her birthday is July so I had another recommendation of asking to hold her back a year but still doesn't make my situation any better.

I am south east London, Lewisham to be precise never heard of portage before.

Request an EHCNA.

Rather than a nursery, have you considered a childminder?

Portage in Lewisham accept referrals for under 3s. They also take referrals for 3 year olds who are not in receipt of 15hrs of funded early years provision, so I would look at a referral to them. Although I don’t know how long their waiting list is.

You could also look at Home Start.

Apply for DLA for your older DC that doesn’t already receive it. Being in receipt of DLA doesn’t prevent someone going on to be a police officer. Also apply for DD.