DGC being tested autism

[Floranan]

My son mentioned to me last night that his DD (3) is to be tested for autism. She started preschool recently and the staff have suggested that she’s tested. Tbh I’ve had my suspicions for a long time just unsure how to approach the subject. My DS and DIL adore their children and will never have anything said against them, I’m inclined to agree that they are just perfect but then I’m the doting nana 🥹

but that said my little DGD has caused me concern - tip toe walking, non verbal, doesn’t respond to her name and seems to go off into her own little world, she holds her hand out to the sides and twiddles and twists her fingers. She’s so loving so very beautiful, but I’ve had my worries.

now this comment from my son, he dropped it into another conversation as if he wanted to let me know, but didn’t want to discuss it . Which is fine, he will when he’s ready.

but from my point of view, as a nana, where do I go from here. What help / support can I give, what can we expect in the future. I want/need to get this right, to be there for them to have the right resources if needed. I’m totally out of my depth, I don’t even know what these tests will involve.

i would be so grateful for any help and advice anyone can give me.

I would ask them what support they want. Some need time without family raising anything. Some don’t want any practical help but someone who will listen. Some want physical practical help e.g. childcare or helping them complete paperwork. Some would like suggestions, but others wouldn’t. If they do, you could e.g. suggest they request an EHCNA and apply for DLA.

I would say the main thing is to treat dgc the same as ever and build a lovely relationship with her - narrate what you're doing/talk to her as much as possible (whether she does or doesn't understand) play any games she likes to play/anything she likes to do even if it doesn't fall into what children generally like to play/do - follow her lead. If she loves to stare at things spinning then find things that spin and then spin and watch them with her, if she loves telephones or road signs or flashing lights then join her in that and make fun little games of it.

Also be prepared that she might not like/be able to cope with some things that you'd take for granted in a non ND child. She might struggle with transitions or loud noises or itchy new clothes you might have bought her. Or she might be fine with those things! It's very much about getting to know her and learning from her really.

I wouldn't worry about the tests, they'll just get her to play with some toys and talk to her and observe her, that sort of thing. The tests won't be stressful (unless she gets upset by new places/people). From what you've said she'll almost certainly be diagnosed but it might be a good while yet as referral times are long. Is she going to see a speech therapist and OT?