Potty training

[Mumof2boys95]

Hi everyone,

My 4 year old son is non verbal (or pre verbal? Has a few words), waiting for his autism diagnosis and is not yet potty trained.

He has recently started to bring me his nappies and wipes when he has been for a number 2, without prompting. Is this maybe a sign I should try to train him? Or maybe not?

Just wondered what people think, or more specifically how do I potty train him whilst non verbal? He doesn’t sign, we have tried, he also isn’t currently interested in PECS. His understanding is ok, of course not age appropriate, but he will shake his head no at questions, although won’t tell me yes reliably!

Basically I’m not sure what I’m doing!!

Thank you xx

I've worked with several and potty trained my non verbal autistic son. If you google ERIC they have an advice page on it :) Speech isn't necessary for bladder/bowel control. Obviously, it helps if they can communicate, but as you know not all communication is verbal.

How I did it was left him with no bottoms in the house (No nappy, no pants). After a while I realised he wouldn't pee on the floor, he (mostly!) held it in. This made me realise he did have bladder and bowel control.

We got him to sit on a potty every so often with a lot of bribes. Eventually, we 'caught' a wee on the potty and gave him loads of praise and a chocolate button (I know I know...but he doesn't understand stickers etc!).

We started doing it properly 1 weekend so he rarely had a nappy on all weekend. Not going to lie there was so much mess. He also was clearly scared to do a poo. We put him in underwear for nursery that Monday and it was just endless accidents. But by the following weekend, he'd pretty much got it for both wee and poo. We noticed he'd start doing a 'wee dance' so we'd put him on the potty. That was his way of communicating it. He transitioned to the toilet after a couple of months.

He is 5 1/2 now and in the last year has had a few toileting problems relating to autism (occasional wetting and soiling for sensory/medical reasons respectively...v annoying but hey ho) but he has been out of nappies day and night for a very long time now.

So yeah, definitely encourage:

1. Sitting on potty/toilet often (After meals, after exercise, or on waking are key moments to catch wees and poos).
2. Having some nappy free times to catch wee and poo (Puppy pads are helpful here)
3. Praise loadsssss if you catch wee and poo
4. Watch for cues of doing wee and poo; even show him his nappy "look you've done a wee" etc
5. Don't get disheartened - kids wee/poo in nappies since birth, it takes a while to re-train to go on a potty, it's a very different sensation and takes time
6. Consider extra fibre or laxatives if the GP recommends as sometimes potty training can cause constipation as children become anxious to go

Good luck!!!

Also even if he doesn't sign, Makaton can definitely still support understanding so I would recommend learning the 'Toilet' sign - it's really easy - just rub your middle finger of right hand back and forth on the left side of your chest. And print a 'Toilet' picture too! He will probably find his own way of letting you know (As he already does with the nappy/wipes) but it's worth chucking all the balls at it communication wise!

For our ASD son, the trick that worked for us after several failed potty training attempts, was to leave to leave the nappies in the bathroom by the toilet. All changes were done in the bathroom, and this helped them associate it. They are mostly trained at home (day only), but will choose to wear nappies outside the house.

Unattended bathroom use has its own challenges as once he sees running water (special interest) he changes, so washing hands is very difficult for him.

Speak to the doctor about it.

Thank you so so much for taking the time to reply, they are all such helpful tips and I will definitely give them a go!

@Will36 thank you for this that’s really helpful, my son also likes water so that’s a good point to consider too!