8 year old SEN child never wants to go out

[Mummyof2asd]

My 8 year old boy ASD never wants to do anything but stay at home on his Nintendo I’m at the point where I feel like smashing the bloody thing. His little brother also ASD 5 loves going out and I feel he misses out so much because of this. I do normally not give my 8 year old a chose and say we are going out but when we are out he says I’m going to ruining the whole day and moan and cry and he does just that he really does control what we do at the minute . It makes days out so miserable and not worth it but I have to try for my other little boy. My 8 year old sleep is terrible he can stay up until early hours of the morning. Been to the doctors about it but because he does not have his official diagnoses yet they won’t help :( his starting an Sen school September after being out mainstream since Easter, hoping things improve . Any advice would be great. Thanks

Ive no advice for you, but just here to say we're in the same boat. My high needs ASD 6 yesr old son never wants to leave the house either its only came on the past few minths and has got worse for the summer holidays, with him it is a high anxiety thing, hes really starting to become aware of the world around him and I think that just makes him very anxious, he needs lots of support to leave the house atm. Does your son have a paediatrician? Even if diagnosed GPs cant prescribe melatonin it has to be a paediatrician but they can prescribe before diagnosis if theyre sure a diagnosis will happen

Ive no advice for you, but just here to say we're in the same boat. My high needs ASD 6 yesr old son never wants to leave the house either its only came on the past few minths and has got worse for the summer holidays, with him it is a high anxiety thing, hes really starting to become aware of the world around him and I think that just makes him very anxious, he needs lots of support to leave the house atm. Does your son have a paediatrician? Even if diagnosed GPs cant prescribe melatonin it has to be a paediatrician but they can prescribe before diagnosis if theyre sure a diagnosis will happen.

Sending lots of hugs because its so bloody hard! Especially when it starts to effect the other siblings. Maybe I can gwt some advice here too

You can request a referral to a sleep clinic. You don’t need a diagnosis for this.

What kind of days out are you trying to do? A whole day can be a lot - the busyness in the holidays, the sensory environment, other people, the demands and expectations…

How is DS if you go out for an hour first thing somewhere quiet?

Have you had social care assessments? And looked at your local short breaks offer.

What support is in the EHCP at the moment?

Thanks all for the reply’s sorry just logged back in. I think I was just having a self pity day seeing all friends/family ect on beach days enjoying holidays I guess I get jealous that our family life is not like that . Sometimes feel like I’m watching life pass by but I know I need to snap out of it and get on with it, it’s not the childrens thought. Does a social care assessment include social service? , I don’t no why that just makes me nervous I don’t want them to think I can’t cope lol I can I’m just finding it tough that’s all. His EHCP is more about his school needs I don’t know if it needs updating, it states he needs a SEN school, 1.1 support ect but not much about home life .

Social care assessments are from social care. It is children’s services. A carer’s assessment for you and an assessment of DS’s needs by the children with disabilities team. It isn’t saying you are a bad parent or anything like that. DS is a child in need by virtue of his disability and you are a parent carer.

The EHCP can include things like SALT, OT and mental health support for DS that can help DS both in school and at home with things like sensory needs, communication, emotional regulation, accessing the community… You will need evidence, but it is worth looking at during the next review - either annual review or you can request an early review.