ARFID - how to expand diet to include more safe foods?

[ARFIDhell]

Has anyone had success in expanding the range of foods that a primary aged child with ARFID can eat?

I have name changed for this post so that I can share a lot of detail.

I have Aspergers (that's the term that I'm comfortable with), combined type ADHD and ARFID (all diagnosed when I was in my forties after my son was diagnosed with the same conditions). ARFID has blighted my life - my health, my relationships, my social life and my career. I don't want my son to suffer the same.

ARFID damaged my relationship with my parents as they would make me sit at the table for hours, eventually screaming at me and force-feeding me in exasperation. My relationship with them is based on fear. I struggle to socialize because I can't go out to dinner or it's very stressful if I do as I have to order something then distract people so that they don't notice that I'm not eating. I spent some time in an eating disorder unit in my twenties but it didn't help as they only knew how to treat anorexia and bulimia and I wasn't diagnosed with ARFID at the time. I have been hospitalised multiple times with malnutrition then being tube fed.

Certain elements of Aspergers and ADHD have been helpful in my chosen career field and I have been able to work internationally although socializing with clients has been a huge problem and I became very unwell after working in China for two years as I couldn't easily access my safe foods.

I don't want this for my son. My DS is 9 years old. He was diagnosed with Autism Type 1 (his preferred term) at 4 years old, diagnosed with combined type ADHD and ARFID at 5 years old. I suspected he was autistic when he was 18 months old so I have tried very hard to expose him to a wide variety of foods. He ate a wider variety of foods at 4 years old and gradually he became more restrictive.

DS now eats:

• Broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, sweetcorn, peas, green beans (boiled only)
• Fishfingers, chicken nuggets, Wiener sausages (fried or oven cooked - these are foods he discovered at children's birthday parties which makes me hopeful that he might be persuaded to eat more normally like his friends)
• Roast beef
• White bread (baguette only not bread rolls or sliced)
• McVities bread waffles
• Full fat milk
• French fries (McDonalds only - he won't eat home made chips)
• Processed potato such as "smiley faces" or waffles (but not new potatoes or jacket potatoes)
• heated Wholemeal tortilla (M&S only) with grated cheddar cheese (M&S or Waitrose only)
• Nutella and peanut butter on rice cakes
• M&S pumpkin pasta
• Some sweets such as Haribo bears or marshmallows but not cake, biscuits or chocolate

He used to eat bananas, raisins, walnuts, pistachios, pears, apples, mangos, blueberries, cucumbers, raw carrots and pesto pasta as a toddler but won't now.

I have tried to expand his diet without success so far and I don't want to damage my relationship with him.

I want to expand his diet so that he has better nutrition and can have a more normal life as a teenager such as going to sleepovers and residentials. At the moment when we go on holiday I bring an extra suitcase of beige food or we go only to Airbnbs in countries where I know I can buy and cook his safe foods.

DS is normal height, very fit but very skinny and I am concerned that he is not eating enough - he does 3 hours exercise a day before and after school to help manage his ADHD (swimming, gymnastics, athletics, trampolining and indoor rock-climbing all at a high level for his age - he can't manage the social side of team sports yet). He doesn't have a big appetite at lunchtime because he takes Concerta after breakfast to help him manage the school environment.

We are no longer based in the UK as DS was expelled from two UK schools at the age of 5 and then 6 and navigating the NHS and SEN provision to get help for DS was exhausting and I ended up in hospital multiple times which was awful for DS and me. So we are now living in another country where I can earn enough money to pay for DS to go to a private school with small class sizes and I also pay for a teaching assistant to shadow him 1:1 - he is finally thriving in this set up).

Does anyone have experience of expanding the range of safe foods? Or an expert that I could work with?

Thanks for reading all of this and apologies if I have posted in the wrong place. I am a bit desperate at this point and want to understand what has worked for other people as I'm a lost cause but I think there is still hope for DS to have a better diet and social life.

Is DS just skinny or is he underweight? If the latter, I would first focus on DS eating more of his safe foods to put on weight. He actually has quite a range of safe foods, so if weight is an issue, I would focus on the quantity.

If DS is just skinny or once he has put on weight, some people have success with food chaining. For example, if DS will eat fish fingers, would he try other brands? Would he then try different shapes, e.g. fish goujons? Then a breaded fish fillet, then fish fingers with a different fish… but never forcing the issue, not messing with the safe versions themselves, and putting it on a separate face to other safe foods.

Thanks @flawlessflipper , I will try the food chaining idea as he's right on the skinny/underweight threshold. I want to really tackle the problem over the next two years so it's not as bad by the time DS is in high school and that his growth isn't stunted.

don’t know how ‘plate’ became ‘face’ in my pp, sorry.

If DS is borderline underweight, I would focus on increasing his weight slightly with safe food first, so that you have a buffer in case he is ill at any point or if he doesn’t eat much some days whilst you attempt food chaining.

Given DS’s range of safe foods, I doubt his growth will be stunted.