Does this sound like possible ADHD in my 4 year old daughter please?

[VividBird]

Does this sound like my four year old might have ADHD please?

• She has frequent wee accidents (1+a day) just doesn't get to the toilet on time

• she is often not motivated to eat. Dinner time takes an hour, I end up handfeeding her often and read books to try and keep her at the table, she will get down many times

• she has always been low sleep needs as a child and dropped naps at 1.5

• she can literally talk all day long. Other have commented on this. She has an amazing imagination and can play pretend games for hours, which the talking is often part of.

• very emotional and can be intense, I find it very difficult to manage both her and my younger child at the same time

• scared of loud noises e.f. hairdryer. Recently has stopped being scared of the hoover

• articulate compared to peers, spoke quite early,.and I think intelligent, but not really interested in sitting down and learning things like phonics

• often doesn't listen, has to still be reminded e.g.g to wash hands after using toilet.

• she is wonderful and loving and kind

sounds like a 4 year old to me...

she sounds lovely.

Is there anything specific that is worrying you? the sum of all of that sounds very within the normal bounds of a todler to me..

Thank you. I'm worried about the toileting mainly. That seems to be quite different from her peers and i just can't seem to improve it. We have had three wees on the floor today. The eating also is very frustrating and limits how we can spend our time as it just takes so long to get her to eat enough. I know it's probably too early to say but I am keen to parent her in the most helpful way and get any support she might need as early as possible.

For lots of 4 year olds what you have listed is within the normal range.

Have you spoken to the GP about the toileting accidents to rule out a physical cause, e.g. constipation or UTI?

Will DD be starting school in September?

Thanks.

I haven't seen a GP about it previously as i feel confident it isn't a medical cause due to the patterns r.g. previously she's gone over a week without accidents, today every wee was on the floor. But I've booked an appointment now just to be sure as it's really ramped up.

She is starting school in September, I'm a bit worried about that!

Thank you for the reply.

I wouldn't say particularly high intelligence. I think she has a clever, curious mind and takes interest and asks intelligent questions though, and is good at solving problems by thinking things through.

Her nursery have mentioned that she has had instances of just running around inside (against the rules) and ignores all the staff when they tell her to stop. They haven't raised any concerns beyond that.

The other things I've noticed seem a bit silly on their own but

• whenever we are sent group pictures from nursery she is nearly always playing with her hair, looking distracted and not joining in in the way way as the majority of children in the picture. I have however been with her to classes which she really enjoys and she is fully involved, so I think this might be due to motivation/interest too.
• she bumps into things a lot and doesn't have any special awareness
• she will do random things that she knows are completely inappropriate, like lick the floor (not overly often)

The other thing is that we are now almost certain her dad has ADHD (undiagnosed but waiting), so this is probably why I am looking at these behaviours through a different lens now

Have you spoken to the school about the toileting accidents?

I’m not saying there definitely is a physical cause, but DD not having accidents every day/sometimes going more than a week without doesn’t rule out a physical cause.

Has DD had her eyes and hearing tested?

Sounds like a 4 yr old. I have 4 daughters and they have all been completely different.

my 4rd daughter has been a whirlwind. I swear if I’d had her first I wouldn’t have had any more. She took up more of my energy than the other 3 put together!
She was a text book baby…. Until she was 2. Oh boy was she hard work. Very demanding, talked and moaned and whinged and never let up. Spoilt games, wouldn’t share, didn’t sleep well. Attention seeker Woke at 5am very angry 🤣 Incredinly bright and charming child but still hard work. Got away with murder because she’s always been very pretty and bright She got 3 grade 9s at Alevel She’s 19 now and still one of a kind. She lights up a room, she’s very charming and shes still a bit of a diva and loves the attention. It she’s so hard working and will succeed in life.
when she was little my partner at the time ( total narcissist and abuser) kept telling me she wasn’t normal and I needed to get her sorted.
i think some children are just big personalities, they are harder as children but they make amazing and interesting adults. 🥰

It is not unusual for a child’s developmental stage to not be in line with a child’s intellect.

Thanks for replying. I've spoken to nursery about it before but they never seem very concerned. I haven't spoken to the school, I had hoped it would have improved by then.

Eyes and hearing not checked but I haven't had a reason to think she needs these as her hearing and vision seem very good.

Aw thank you that's a lovely message. It's nice to hear about your daughter and how. Lovely she is. They are all just so different aren't they
My daughter is my oldest and we don't have many other children a similar age that we know very well to compare to.

Thanks for the reply. Yes there's definitely problems with impulse control, though I know some of that normal at this age, I don't know where it becomes more unusual.

She's good with her peers and will play happily with others. So I don't think the not joining in is a social thing, it seems more a.diatraction thing to me. I have to remind her about twenty times a meal to eat her food, but she really enjoys listening to stories and will happily pay attention for 45 minutes with that, so it's inconsistent.

I would say she's average maturity of her age.

Thank you for all the insight, I know it's a case of watch and wait too really.

When school starts, speak to them about the accidents.

I would have DD’s hearing and sight checked. Things like bumping into things and appearing not to listen can be because of sight/hearing difficulties. Obviously not all the time (and both can be normal in 4y/o’s) but it is something to be ruled out if you are concerned.

Thanks, I'll look into those.