No suitable school for my 6 year old!

[daisy5678]

J's got autism and ADHD and is currently in a mainstream school with 100% one-to-one support. This is usually adequate except in meltdown mode when he gets very very violent and it takes 2 members of staff to restrain him. Next year, for various reorganisational reasons, there will not be another member of staff available to help my son's TA restrain him and there will also be nowhere to do it.

So he will hurt his TA (as one person is not enough) and will then repeatedly get excluded until he has to be removed from the school.

Now the LEA could pay for a second TA (and pigs might fly) or J could go to a special school.

I would be reluctant to do this for 2 reasons: 1) he often functions very well in m/s - has moved on socially when calm and doing very very well academically.

2. There is NOWHERE . There's an EBD school that would be OK for primary (but hardly ideal) but then he'd be trapped in special forever and the secondary EBD school is just awful.

Apart from that, there's the ASD school, but that basically caters for non-verbal children and a life skills and J is really really verbal. There are no schools within 90 mins drive of here that cater for AS/ HFA (though his dx is officially autism, I know he's v high functioning in many areas)

So what the bleep do I do?

Do I push for 2:1 support, push the LEA to make him a little padded room at the school that they can put him in (which would be better than being restrained and safe for the staff) or what???

But the mum thinks he is fine where he is?

my son would cope in mainstream if he had full time support/ had a safe environment where he couldnt run away or hurt himself/had access to a soft room to calm down in/ had specialist help with his emoptional and behavioural issues/ had support in making social connections/ was able to vent his anger without disrupting the whole school and other pupils as this causes alienation of his own peer group which leads to bullying. Not everything my son needs is available in ms school and this is where the problems are. In a perfect world schools would be equipped to be able to care for children like my son with minimal disruption to the rest of the school, unfortunately its not possible. TAs are not trained to help my DS, Schools have no room to create a safe room for my son to retreat to, teachers do not have the time/energy/patience to care for my DS AND 29 other pupils, MS schools are not designed to be flexible enough to accomadate all our childrens little excentricities for example..... My son is told to bring trousers for PE the next day as they are doing basketball, on the day PE lesson is changed to aerobics in hall and DS needs to wear shorts not trousers....this simple change in routine and planned structure can upset my DS for days, in a specialist school this change would not happen as the school is aware small issues like this cause huge problems but in a MS school things like this happen daily and its not possible to adapt for children like ours.

I would love my son to remain in MS like givemesleep has said, unfortunately my DS has already been in 2 MS schools and neither has coped. As he gets bigger he gets harder to restrain and he cannot access the help he needs in MS becasue the LEA withhold support until your child is at risk of permanent exclusion. IF the LEA provided the support our children NEED to have all their needs met in MS there wouldnt be an issue. The sad fact is it is all about money.

givemesleep, it does seem you are in the opposite situation for me. DS was in MS and LEA still saying he can be BUT MS saying he cannot be there without 2 staff and im the one saying enough is enough lets look at a special school where DS can stay for years and have security

Pipinjo: they won't have the space any more because he is moving buildings as the Infant and Junior buildings and staffing are totally separate, so the same is true re: no more spare person. I don't think anyone wants him out of mainstream really, certainly chief SEN LEA guy wants him in mainstream because he knows damn well that nowhere in the special sector is suitable. The only person who may want him out is the Junior school HT, but not even really getting that impression yet (and I'm quite sensitive to negative vibes!)
I'm interested about the need for 2:1 when restraining? Where do you know this from? Thought this might just be a preference, didn't realise they HAD to have 2:1.

I think the Infant school have been f-ing amazing, tbh. There've been at least 70 assualts on staff in the last 3 years, and many more on kids, but only one small exclusion. They've 'got' that it's not deliberate and not his fault, and 'got' that they have to reduce his stress to ensure that the meltdowns don't happen as often.

I know it sounds hard to believe, but sometimes there are weeks where he achieves everything above and beyond other children and has no outbursts. The staff at the school seem to geuninely adore him because he is really loveable (when not in meltdown). In every other mode of being, he can cope in mainstream. With 2:1 restraint for the meltdowns, he can cope in mainstream. Without that? Nope.

Can't afford legal advice and kind of know the legal position anyway. Under DDA, they have to make reasonable adjustments. If they don't, and then exclude him for a reason relating to his disability, I will be straight to Tribunal and the press.

I think we're different Bonkerz because I have seen J respond to the other children so well this year (and vice versa). They are so tolerant and inclusive with him and there just isn't another suitable peer group round here. Also, he is accessing learning really well in mainstream and finds it exciting and stimulating, so ( when not in meltdown! ) mainstream is the right place.

I'd say 90% of the average week is fine...it's juse the other 10% that pushes the boundaries of what mainstream can cope with.

The school was rated outstanding by OFSTED for a very good reason! He wouldn't have survived without permanent exclusion elsewhere. But I don't want him to have one now for moving into the Junior School without proper support.

keep going GMS, the reason we are fighting for special school is that MS said EVEN with full time support when DS has a meltdown (upto 3 times a day) then he needs 2 staff which normally means teacher and TA BUT that leaves noone with the other pupils!

Start spouting the reasonable adjusments to meet Js needs at them, get the infant head to be brutally honest maybe even stretch the truth a little to really hammer home the issues. The head at DS last MS has been fab and really put her neck on the line...she has even given me a letter with 11 points as to why DS belongs in special school!

They are sending an OT to assess the space issue for possibly getting a safe space!

GMS - its a good start!
(Could a second person already on sight such as nonteaching staff be trained (and paid extra)and have a buzzer/alarm to assist TA in restraint when needed)

You are psychic! That's exactly what I'm going to suggest. Then space and staffing would be as sorted as they could be.

Will hopefully know by the end of next week.

Not psychic ( I wish) but they say great minds--!