8yo son, AuDHD, probably PDA profile, is exceptionally challenging in the mornings before meds kick in and in the evenings when they've worn off. He acts like a wild animal. When medicated he's like a different person - kind, sensible, helpful, productive.
He's on 70mg Vyvanse, i.e. the highest adult dose, and metabolises it super fast - it wears off in about 6 hours despite supposedly lasting 12+. He's not allowed to have any extra doses of short-acting dexamphetamine because he's already on the highest possible dose of lisdexamphetamine.
In the mornings befre meds kick in (about an hour) he's constantly seeking a dopamine hit by being antagonistic, making noises and being idiotic about things like getting dressed and making toast. Hugely impulsive and demand-avoidant - would rather flood the bathroom sink with all the drawers open than just go to the toilet and wash his hands like he's meant to. Constantly making loud noises, which the neighbour complains about, doing a million other things he's been told not to do, then saying "oooh, don't you do anything to me!" with a smirk on his face, trying to catch the eye of whichever parent has to deal with him. I have been grey-rocking this behaviour since he was 3, so I never have done anything other than roll my eyes and occasionally shout at him - but he knows that saying that increases the stress level, which is what he's trying to do. Evenings are similar but tend to be less overtly antagonistic, just unable to control himself and his impulses.
He's also like this whenever he meets another PDA person. He's now homeschooled but school was a disaster as he and another PDA kid used to feed off each other and disrupt everything and constantly try to annoy the teachers. His behaviour around my mother is the same (I've long suspected she is PDA) - he and she both try to get at me and DH, when they're together, and then look to others for confirmation that DH and I are too strict and mean.
I limit his contact with my mother, but mornings are driving me to dislike him more and more, as I'm feeling stressed and stuck and I'm the authority figure he is trying to challenge, and I'm stuck with him because he's homeschooled. I have told him not to waste the remaining goodwill, but he can't help himself. I feel like sending him to boarding school, but he'd just get himself expelled.
What do others do in this situation?