15 month old social development - autism?

[SamBIL]

Hi all,

Just looking for a place to offload really and get other people’s experiences. My LO is nearly 15 months old and I’ve always been worried about his development and development of his social skills. I’ve also had a ‘feeling’ something wasn’t quite right from about 3 months, but I’ve tried to keep pushing it out my mind.

I’ve often compared him to his very sociable sister who was very advanced in her speaking and social skills from a very early age (although at 5 is at the same level as her peers so I don’t think is a marker for long term development). He’s a very serious child and I’m wondering if that personality or something bigger at play.

The concerns I have are:

• Gestures are minimal – will point, spent all weekend pointing at dogs he saw but he doesn’t look back to me to see my reaction. Does clap to ‘happy and you know it’ but does not wave at all. I’m constantly modelling an over the top wave but he just stares at me.
• Pointing – while he points at something he’s found interesting he doesn’t point to something like his water, instead he’ll reach out his whole hand and make a ah ah ah sound for it.
• Wont copy actions – things like head, shoulders, knees and toys or covering his eyes for peekaboo, or point to his nose.
• Very serious – he rarely laughs unless it’s physical like tickling. He will smile if you smile at him and he does give eye contact. When we collect from nursery he’s never excited to see us or feel like there is any recognition we’ve come to collect, same when we drop him off. Nursery say he’s happy when he’s there.
• Invested in play – he will sometimes respond to his name but if he’s playing with a toy he’ll almost zone out the world around him and he won’t look back / check in with us and won’t respond to him name. I don’t think he plays with toys abnormally but there is little joint attention with them.
• He will respond to his name if he’s not engaged with something. Say we’re at the dinner table or he’s crawling away.
• Recently become very wary around strangers
• Started narrowing/squinting his eyes and wondering if this is a stim he’s developing

He does follow simple asks like come here, where’s the ball etc. Sometimes if we say no he’ll stop what he’s doing. He will copy if I shake my head or nod. He sleeps well and eats really well, although he has allergies and eczema, which I have read in my rabbit hole of google can be linked to being ND. He babbles quite a bit and he is saying a few words like dada, ball and will woof when he sees a dog. I haven’t got any concerns for his hearing but I guess the HV will want to assess. He will look to something when I point at it but doesn’t often to look back to share the moment,

He didn’t tick a lot of boxes in the communication and personal social development Ages and Stages at 11 months so the HV said she will contact us again end of this month. As this is approaching I’ve started focussing on his social development again and can’t shake off the feeling something isn’t quite right. I keep spending time reading about autism and then it’s almost like confirmation bias. Also, I have two close friends who’s LOs have been diagnosed with autism, both very different children but I have seen how incredibly hard they’ve found toddlerhood with their LOs and I worry that will be our future too.

Could people share their experiences, has your LOs been the same? Did it end in an autism diagnosis or did they catch up in their development?

Thanks if you made it this far!

Hi there, my 6yo is almost certainly autistic. We started noticing things around this age too (mainly lack of speech, gestures, not wanting to play together/share a space with others). She was my second too and it felt different than with my older daughter. She flagged up at the 2y HV check and started speech therapy and saw a paediatrician. The paediatrician wanted to watch and wait, and by age 3 she was talking more so he wasn’t interested. But by then the social differences were greater, scripted speech, lack of stranger danger, running off (as in, gone, taking ages to find her), special interests developing, intense lining up of toys. By age 4 she’d developed (and still has) a very obvious physical stim, which no one can explain as anything other than autism. She has intense special interests, clings to routines, lines everything up etc. But because she is sociable now (she likes people and is outgoing - but plays differently to other kids and struggles to maintain interactions), we cannot get her to assessment - the referrals panel refused us. We’re due to go back later this year to make our case again and may end up going private.
All that being said, she’s an absolute delight! She’s smart, funny, loving, quirky, interesting….I genuinely wouldn’t change her for the world. I’d change the world for her though - we need more acceptance and accommodations for our wonderful kids.
My advice would be to film some videos, make notes, pull off the NICE criteria (look at the appendix at the end for a table of traits/behaviours) and mark it up with examples. Flag your concerns to your HV. But be prepared at this age to be told that they’re all different, wait to see how he develops etc. Then push it further at your 2y check.
But please try not to worry. Hard as it is. They’re going to be who they’re meant to be. For your child that light not be autistic - it is very young to know for sure yet.
Autism is so misunderstood. Keep records, speak up, but don’t lose sight of your little sweetheart, because they are wonderful. When/if you get a bit further down the road, there are lots of local charities/orgs where you can get support, meet other families etc. And when your child starts school, you’ll realise there are quite a few neurodivergent kids, and they’re all uniquely awesome.

I would say this is all within the bounds of normal but but nonetheless worth keeping an eye on.

I had concerns about my DS around the same age as he seemed to lose skills - he was pointing then stopped. He was waving then stopped. He did join in with actions then stopped. But then he took a huge developmental leap and is now in line with his peers and I have no concerns at all.

You're right that these things can be indicators of neurodivergence but it could also be that he's slower to show his skills and a more introverted personality. I doubt a healthy professional will do anything at this stage so all you can really do is play with him and talk to him and promote his development as much as you can and notice the progress he is and isn't making.

Often boys develop later than girls, it’s a good sign he’s wary of strangers.

My little boy is 18 months, was very similar to yours at 15 months (and not that much different now, just does more actions to nursery rhymes). I think before two it’s really hard to make any judgement so im not really worried!

Nothing you said screamed development needs tbh and sounds appropriate. Worth keeping an eye on them though as things may emerge in the future.

All children are different though so it maybe you are comparing him to your daughter (not in a horrible way) which is a natural thing to do when you have a new child. The first one is a benchmark in some ways and some behaviours happens sooner or later etc.

So much happens in the first couple of years but it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job with him and clearly know him well so can keep an eye on him as time goes on xxx

Also wariness around strangers sounds developmentally right. Most children should hit that stage at some point. Stranger anxiety typically peaks between 12 and 15 months but normally has past around 2/2.5 🙂

Now all you’ve said, doesn’t scream to me like there is something there to worry about. I’ve 7 children obviously a mixture of personalities. My boys were defo different than my girls in many ways in terms of development and that was really obviously when I had girl/boy twins. All mine however had speech delays including my youngest two who are 2.5yrs and 1.5years old. My eldest five are 18(m), 16(f), 14(f), 13(m) and 13(f). It’s completely normal for a child not to respond to their name when engrossed in an activity etc. as for speech he may have a speech delay but again like I said all mine had severe speech delays but actually you’d never know now and they are not neurodiverse or autistic etc. as for pointing to things and then gesturing for juice etc with their hand again all mine do that. Head shoulders knees and toes and doing that, for me 15months feels a little young to me, but then my youngest two 2.5yrs and 18months have only just started to copy those actions because of Mrs Rachel on Netflix’s 😂 my youngest son points to his butt instead of his nose but that’s not because he doesn’t know his nose he is just a silly sausage. Socially his personality may have a lot to do some of your worries, my boys were much more reserved in those situations than my girls, my girls were and still are much more independent.

obvs that is just my experience and I would keep an eye on it but what I’m trying to say is I wouldn’t overly worry he is still very young xx

Thank you so much to everyone for your lovely replies, it’s reassuring to hear. @PurplGirl I very much gave my friend the same advice about how wonderful ND children can be when she went through her diagnosis.

I do find it so hard not to compare, also my little girl was very ahead with her speaking and I don’t think I realised until having a second what was in the realms of ‘normal’. She’s very much like my personality whereas my husband is more reserved and often says he speaks when there is something to say so maybe it is a personality thing for my LO.

I think you read on here about early intervention being key and I worry if there is some additional help needed I don’t want to fall behind on it for him.

Knowing what my friends have been through with their LOs I definitely don’t think the HV will review anything at this stage but I think it’s helpful to keep flagging concerns to them.

@SamBIL do he gives you toys/things to share interest or shows by lifting toys up to you?

Have you looked at the M CHAT screening tool for autism - it's good for highlighting issues if there are any

https://www.autismspeaks.org/screen-your-child

@SamBIL Any update on your little one?xx

Hi Lcfmmm, we’ve seen a huge leap in his development. I still sometimes have concerns but on the whole he’s come on leaps and bounds. His eye contact still isn’t great and he is still quite serious in new situations but at home he’s very very cheeky. I wonder if this is a personality element rather than anything else.

He didn’t start babbling or saying simple words until around 14 months but I think his speech is quite strong now. He’s 21 months and he is saying sentences of 2-3 words. It felt like one day he had this language explosion and suddenly he started speaking. Lots of people have said how advanced his speech is. I find he’s very stubborn, which has its pros and cons, and wonder if some of the lack of gestures were him simply not wanting to do it but he does all of these now.

I absolutely was tying myself in knots at 15 months over his development, he barely ticked any boxes on the ages and stages and even the HV was concerned but it all slowly came. We did do an eyesight test after my squinting concern but by the time I got to the appointment he’d stopped doing it (typical) and his eyesight is fine.

He’s my second and they are chalk and cheese in development, except both have been good talkers. His personality type is very different to mine and my first child, but similar to my DH so maybe it’s more a personality I’m more unfamiliar with. I’m not 100% on his development and him being NT but also, he’s a delight and so loving at this age so I’m trying to enjoy who is it because I did let those anxieties take over for a long time.

Do you have any concerns about your LO?

Hiya @SamBIL, thank you so much for updating. It’s lovely to hear your little ones progress. It sounds like he’s doing amazing. I have some similar concerns with my DD. She’s also my second and my first hit all her milestones, I never had any concerns. I really try not to compare them as I know all children are different but with just how different they are it’s really hard. My DD has never babbled consonants but makes ‘mmm’ sound a lot and in the last week she has begun to make new sounds.

I know the feeling about the ASQ’s as each section I could tick one or two things and this just made me more concerned. My dd sounds so similar with how independent she is. She very strong willed. My DD has had three eye tests now, at first they had picked up she was short sighted. Also possible squint, so wanted to test again. She had the test last week, they have confirmed she’s not short sighted and doesn’t need glasses at the moment, but there was something they picked up and will test her again at two.

It’s great to hear his language exploded as I think at the moment this is my biggest concern. Eye contact is good from afar but not so good up close. Thank you again for updating