Violent meltdown in 6 year old

[SpinningTops]

My son is 6, he’s on a never moving list for an autism assessment and I’m due a GP appointment to request a RTC ADHD assessment.

His meltdowns are increasingly violent and I don’t know how to manage him. We carry him to his room (otherwise it will keep going longer). I try and stay with him in the room to calm him but when he starts to hurt me I leave the room and hold the door shut. Yesterday whilst I sat on the floor trying to calm him he used his full weight to kick me in my chest.

It has all made me desperately sad. We can no longer go to any shop / town as it will happen. I can just about manage the local library but always on high alert.

When not having a meltdown he is a very sweet, loving boy.

What can I do - pay for some behavioural support - does this exist? He’s ’fine at school’ so they’re not much help.

I’m also hoping for reassurance that previously violent 6 year olds turn into non violent teenagers / adults. He’s already big enough to hurt me and I fear for the future.

Request a meeting with the school. DS is unlikely to actually be ‘fine’ at school. The school just isn’t recognising the signs or recognising them but not seeing them for what they are, The coke bottle effect is far more likely. The school needs to be providing support. They must make their best endeavours to meet DS’s SEN and they must make reasonable adjustments.

Does DS have an EHCP?

Has DS had a home OT assessment to look at how the house can better meet his needs and be safe for him? Has he had a sensory OT assessment? Do you have any sensory equipment at home - some find that aids regulation.

Some people find the books The Explosive Child and the Out of Sync Child helpful. Others find PDA strategies and non-violent resistance resources useful.

Have you tried keeping a detailed diary to spot triggers? That will help reduce dysregulation in the first place before DS gets to the point of no return.

Would DS use a wheelchair or SN buggy? Some find those (and sometimes a big hoody and sunglasses) help with leaving the house. Although shopping can still be difficult for lots of DC with additional needs.