Dla night time care

[emmacomp93]

Good morning, my son is 5, awaiting diagnosis for suspected autism,adhd and possibly pda.
doing a daily diary for DLA forms as we don’t currently have much official evidence. I’m wondering if the needs in the picture would accumulate to night time care greater than that of a child his age?

Am not sure, re waking for loo in night, that's why pull-ups come in up to age 8? When did you stop using them?

The other behaviours, do they share a room, how is he getting such access to.toddler?

And 'repeatedly kicking toddler in head'?
Why is no one intervening after the 1st kick?
What are the consequences of this level of violence?
The repercussions could be horrendous!
They shouldn't be left alone with this aggression towards the toddler, even if that means taking them to the bathroom with you till you get help/strategies.
Really feel for you, sounds stressful and exhausting.
Hope someone with better knowledge along soon.

Delete

Hopefully this goes as a reply not a new post…
He’s been dry for over a year, but because he withholds his urine all day at school he’s caused damage to his bladder and can no longer hold it at night. They both sleep in our room currently as neither will sleep on their own but he chose to wake toddler up before I was conscious. In terms of the kicking it wasn’t full blown booting in the head but enough to make toddler cry, he managed to get a few knocks in while I made me way over (I was trying to get lunches done). He’s completely unpredictable atm, one min he’s watching tv calmly (quickly run to the loo) the next he’s calling 999 and telling them there’s a dead baby. 🙄

Are you in UK? Is there help from school or toddlers health visitor?
I really think toddler would be safer if you could keep them apart. When he reports a dead baby what happens?

Thankfully my oh got to the phone just as they were dispatching the towns police force on us and they stood down! We tried to talk to him about how serious it was, he laughed found it funny, even when I said we’re going to have to get a police man to come and talk to you he was still smiling. We’re finding consequences really difficult, he just dosnt seem phased by them and will out right say he dosnt care or go into a fit or rage and throw chairs/threaten to kill us. Got another meeting with school this week but he masks at school so although they see the autistic traits and have instigated those forms, they don’t get the behavioral side. He’s been getting so much worse since starting school as he holds it in all day there and then just explodes at home. His older sibling is adhd and autistic. Dad works away a lot so it’s mostly 4 kids 1 of me!

Even more exhausting, am sorry am useless here for you, but hoping my responses keep thread bumped for someone else to see!

Night time is typically classed as 11pm-7am. You either need to show DC requires prolonged (typically considered 20mins+) or repeated (typically means 2+) support with bodily functions during the night or someone needs to be awake for a prolonged period or at frequent intervals (typically considered more than twice) to watch over them to prevent harm.

If what you describe is a typical night then it would meet that criteria. Although you may have to appeal. Do you have evidence of night needs? You would need to explain what some of the aspects (e.g. resettling) look like.

Having said that, they are likely to wonder if this level of behaviour is a regular occurrence why there isn’t more in place to stop DS doing some of those things. For example, why isn’t there a pin on the sky store? Why isn’t food somewhere DS can’t help himself to? Why isn’t he being more closely supervised around toddlers (and why multiple requests to stop rather than physically stepping in straight away and being close enough to do that)? Why are phones left within reach?

Separate to DLA, you need urgent support. Has DS had a home OT assessment? Has anyone considered a specialist bed so DS can’t attack others before you are awake? Can the toddler sleep in a different room? Has DS been referred to CAMHS? Have you had social care assessments - a carer’s assessment for you and an assessment of DS’s needs? Does DS have an EHCP?

So we’ve always suspected he was autistic due to sensory issues but the behavior side of things has been getting progressively worse over the last 6months and from bad to worse over the last month. He’s breaking a new extreme every day atm and I’m finding it really hard to manage his behavior (this evening he told his father “you need to fu**ing shut up” courtesy of his 14yo brother (-adhd/asd) saying it to him ). One min he could be calmly watching tv the next he’s doing something he shouldn’t be. Everyday there’s something new to try and manage. I’m mostly on my own with them so it’s really difficult to be in arms reach at all times when there is no warning. His behavior is so impulsive & erratic. One min he’s throwing chairs and threatening to kill me, a few mins later he’s saying “I love you the most, more than you love me”.

Our downstairs is mainly open plan so it easier to supervise but still may take a moment to intervene. We’re in a 3 bed house with 4 children so space is an issue until we can move somewhere bigger. There is a pin on the sky store but he was still trying to hack it. Food is kept in the higher cupboards but he’s used a chair to climb onto the worktop, we have locks on lower cupboards but haven’t needed them higher until now. Is it normal to need to be supervising him at all times? I can leave the toddler playing and pop to the toilet no problem but can’t leave him alone with the toddler without something happening.

No assesments have been done yet, just been given the forms from go to refer to step two, if my elder son was anything to go by we’ll be waiting years for any form of help. He masks at school which I think is why things are becoming more difficult at home now that school is more challenging. They see the autistic traits but not the behavior challenges although I’ve got a meeting with them this week to discuss how he is at home and ask for help. No Ehcp at the moment as his education isn’t being affected unless the few days of school refusal are considered.

For some DC with additional needs, yes, it is normal to need to be supervising all the time. For some, it is normal to need to be within arm’s reach at all times.

Request a home OT assessment. This can help you make the house safer for DS and better meet his needs.

If your area offers sensory OT support, worth pursuing that too. But not all ICBs commission sensory OT support.

Housing wise, are you in a rented home? If so, is a council/housing association home or a private rental? Have you considered a disabled facilities grant? Could your toddler move into one of the other bedrooms with one of his siblings?

You should request an EHCNA yourself. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use. DS doesn’t need a diagnosis. It doesn’t matter DS masks at school. You can still get an EHCP. If DS had more support at school, home life would improve too. What you are experiencing is known as the coke bottle effect.

The school should be providing support now. DS clearly isn’t OK in school. Otherwise you wouldn’t be experiencing the coke bottle effect. The school just isn’t recognising the signs or is recognising them but not recognising them for what they are.

Request social care assessments. On their website, Contact has model letters you can use. Also look at your local short breaks offer.

Contact Home Start to see if they can support you.

Hi sorry to intrude my daughter is 21/2 she has been diagnosed with global developmental delays i have applied for dla in march my daughter wakes at any noise and was up 4-5 times per week once awake it’s morning to her and she does not go to back to sleep this can be at any point in the night and i have to get up with her its been getting worse the last couple of months and to be honest its very rare when shes not been waking but when filling the forms i stated 4-5 nights a week does this count to hrc or mrc thanks its very confusing to me